


Say My Name

by the_albatross



Series: Thematic [1]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-06-23 19:37:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15613518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_albatross/pseuds/the_albatross
Summary: originally this was going to be a one-shot of raja and alaska inspired by a 'more raja' request posted to AQ but as i began writing, well...it got looooong and i actually genuinely enjoy the pairing now, uncommon as it is. so i'll be posting it in multiple parts as they are completed.





	1. Questions and New Beginnings

It was a well known fact in the drag world that Alaska has always admired Raja; it was something she very openly expressed whenever asked and even at times when she wasn’t. She loved the other queen’s sense of style, impeccable makeup skills, her endless talent for performing and of course, her personality in and out of drag. Whenever she could, Alaska would find time to either attend the older queen’s performances or just hang out with her when both of them were in the same general locale. When Raja first started appearing at her own shows unannounced, it never failed to give Alaska a mild shock. Typically she would recover very quickly, working the slight pause into her act, but more often than she cared to admit, she had been left utterly speechless by Raja’s unexpected appearance and it was all she could do not to run off stage in a cold sweat or hop down into the audience to embrace her tightly. For her part, Raja never seemed to be rattled when she spotted Alaska hanging out on the sidelines at her shows. When they would lock eyes, her smile would always become noticeably wider and her entire attitude seemed to brighten just a little bit more. Occasionally (particularly if she already had a drink or two before the show) she would send a flirty wink to Alaska or make a suggestive comment into the microphone for everyone to hear. Alaska knew how to camp up the banter for the audience but even knowing it was just a performance did nothing to slow her racing heart.

Increasingly, Alaska had begun to question if her reaction was from the sheer joy of being recognized by one of her idols or if there were something more behind it. More often than not, before long she would decide that it was best not to delve too far down that particular rabbit hole, mostly for fear of what she might discover. She truly enjoyed just spending time with Raja and didn’t want anything to compromise that or make her act more awkwardly than she already does. Even now she was fairly certain that Raja knows just how big a fan she is and probably has just been indulging her out of kindness, much in the way an older sibling would invite the younger to hang out with their clique on occasion. Alaska felt it was probably a similar familial sentiment that encouraged Raja to ask her if she would mind filling a last minute opening in her show after the original girl called to cancel the day of. Up until her arrival at the venue, Alaska was replaying the conversation in her head on an endless loop trying to keep every detail fresh in her memory.

It had been an early night for Alaska who had just been in the studio earlier that day to write and record some new music for her own tour that was set to begin in a few months time. At about 3 AM, she was awoken by her phone going off with a FaceTime request. Her sleep bogged mind quickly accepted the call without really reading the name on the screen. It came as quite a surprise to see a worry-laden Raja staring back at her with her thumbnail caught between her teeth. Alaska’s hand immediately flew up to her hair to try and sort out what she was sure must have been a severe case of bed-head. If Raja noticed anything at all, she didn’t say. In fact the first words out of her mouth were a frantic apology. “I’m so sorry to be calling you this late but I panicked.”

“It’s fine, what’s up?” Alaska inquired with a slight yawn, trying to keep her voice calm as best as she could for Raja’s sake.

“My show tomorr-tonight; one, maybe even two or three of my girls have to cancel. They all went out earlier and now one of them’s got food poisoning, we think. The others are veggie so they might be fine but that’s almost half the line up if they’re all out and pretty much all the local girls that would normally fill in are booked at their own clubs for tonight or they’re out of town and I don’t know what to do if I can’t find at least one other queen. Then I thought of you cause you can always put a great show, even if its last minute but I know you’re busy with your own stuff, you were just my first thought and-”

“Raja,” Alaska interrupted the rant with a firm voice she silently congratulated herself on. “I can do it, just text me the info.”

“Really?!?” she exclaimed as her whole face lit up and she bit her lip to try to keep her smile under control.

“I’ll be there, I promise.” Alaska replied as she smiled back. She’ll be kicking herself for the last minute booking later when she’s sleep-deprived in the studio again but for now the look on Raja’s face made it seem 100% worth it.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Raja was practically over the moon with her enthusiasm. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise! And the first bottle’s on me!”

“Don’t worry about it,” Alaska reassured her in drowsy tone. “I’m happy to help out a sister.”

Raja’s lips seemed to twitch at the addition of the word ‘sister’ but it easily could have been a glitch or delay in the video feed. “I’ll send you the flyer in a minute, and thank you so much for saving my ass.”

“Any time,” Alaska yawned back with a sleepy smile. Somewhere in the back of her head she was mentally thanking all the gods that she was too tired to overthink the situation or make an idiot of herself during the call.

“I’ll see you tonight, sweetie.”

Just as the pet name registered in Alaska’s mind, Raja had ended the call. She could still feel her cheeks flushed with color even when the promised text came through minutes later. She wanted to groan at her own childish reaction but when she pictured Raja’s relieved smile it made any anxiety she felt melt away. Now all she had to do was make it through the show that night without making a fool of herself…something easier said than done, in her opinion.

****************************************************************

The venue turned out to be only 3 hours away so Alaska opted to drive herself. She wasn’t sure what to expect when she arrived but she was pleasantly surprised at the cleanliness and professionalism at the club. The dressing rooms were hidden away on the second level of the building through a narrow hallway just beyond a VIP section which overlooked the stage and dance floor. Perhaps the most appreciated feature of the club was the full-service kitchen and the bars on both floors. Each queen had their own dressing room for the night but it wasn’t hard to imagine that for shows with more artists performing; the dressing area could become quite crowded in a short amount of time.

Alaska stood partially dressed in her simple bra and panty set and was applying the final touches to her makeup when she heard a knock against the door frame. She had left the door open for anyone to come talk to her but still appreciated the courtesy of whoever wanted to make their presence known prior to just entering the room. She glanced over towards the doorway and saw Raja already fully dressed and waiting for permission to cross the threshold. “Come on in, I’m almost done,” she told the older queen before turning back to blend her contour just a little bit more.

Raja quickly stepped inside with a vague smile and gently closed the door behind her. Alaska almost arched an eyebrow at the unusual behavior but part of her thought that perhaps Raja just wanted privacy to vent about tonight’s lineup so she simply kept quiet and waited for the other queen to speak. To her complete shock, the first thing Raja did was hug Alaska from behind and rest her chin on Alaska’s shoulder. The action was so utterly ‘Raja’ that Alaska couldn’t help but smile at the older queen. “Doing a little wine tasting before the show?” she asked with a knowing smirk.

Giving a lopsided grin, Raja defended herself with a half-hearted whine, “S'not my fault; they left a bottle for me on the vanity.”

“I’m pretty sure that was supposed to be for after the gig,” Alaska shot back.

“I’ll share with you…” the slightly buzzed queen offered.

Rolling her eyes, Alaska teased gently, “Oh, there’s actually some left? I’m impressed…Besides, you already do owe me bottle, remember?”

Raja’s grip tightened as she replied softly, “I owe you more than that for saving my sanity tonight…thanks again. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“You know I’d do just about anything to help you…” Alaska knew her tone was betraying her slightly but she doubted Raja was in her right mind enough to catch it.

“I know…” she trailed off as her fingertips traced lazily over Alaska’s midsection. “You look really pretty…”

Alaska rolled her eyes again and tried to will her blush away as she played off the compliment, “I think that’s the beer-goggles talking.”

Raja pulled her closer and mumbled into Alaska’s ear, “You know it’s not…You always look pretty…”

Alaska swallowed thickly and darted her eyes down to the make up supplies that laid sprawled out in front of her. “Th-thanks,” she stuttered as she picked up her lip liner and quickly set to work applying it. She could hardly keep her hand steady as she became painfully aware of Raja’s gently traveling hands. While Alaska tried her best to continue with her makeup routine, Raja seemed perfectly content to continue drawing patterns over Alaska’s toned stomach. She was careful to avoid touching anywhere too far south but all the same it took all of Alaska’s self-control to try and keep herself from reacting.

When she had finally finished applying the lip matte, Alaska stood frozen at a loss for what to do. Raja seemed to be in no hurry to move away and Alaska was forced to admit to herself that she didn’t really want her to either. More than once the thought of how easily she could get used to this filled her head. The light caress almost seemed innocent until the fingers gradually began to travel lower and lower down her stomach. They paused when they reached the hem of the panties and Raja’s eyes flickered up to Alaska’s as she asked hesitantly, “Am I going too far?”

Alaska faltered for a mere second before replying with a wavering voice, “No…please don’t stop…”

It scared her to realized just how much she wanted this after Raja asked. Her stomach felt like it was tangled in a thousand knots but in the best possible way. Raja’s hand slipped into the panties and forced them out of the way as the other held Alaska flush against her. Alaska’s head rolled back onto Raja’s shoulder when she felt her hand wrap around her length and slowly begin pumping. She did her best to contain any noise she made from being too vocal for fear that someone outside the room might hear but mostly she was too absorbed in the sheer pleasure of finally being touched by Raja that she just didn’t care about anything other than this moment.

Her mouth had slightly parted and her breathing was becoming ragged as she allowed herself to be consumed by what the other queen was doing to her. The most pitiful part was that it something so simple, so basic it was hardly anything different than what she would do to herself. She had done far kinkier things in bed with past hookups but none of those could hold a candle to how Raja is making her feel right now. Raja was like her own unique strain of weed; able to consume her mind and body all at once and draw out pleasure from anywhere their skin connected. When Raja swiped her thumb over Alaska’s head, a degrading whimper filled the room much to Alaska’s embarrassment. “You’re getting so worked up, Justin,” Raja whispered. “Has it really been that long?”

“No…”

“What is it then?” Raja tried to coax out of her.

“I-It’s…it’s you,” Alaska admitted through her panting.

“How sweet…You’re such a mess and I’m hardly doing anything.” Her taunting eyes locked with Alaska’s hooded ones in the mirror and she brought her free hand up to Alaska’s face to make sure her head couldn’t be turned away. “You’d take anything I’d be willing to give you, wouldn’t you?” Alaska tried to nod but when she found her head could barely move an inch, she whispered, “Yes.”

“I bet you’d love for me to bend you over this vanity…Force you to watch in the mirror as I finger you until you’re dripping onto the floor…Eating you out until you’re a writhing mess begging me for some kind of release…Finally pushing myself so deep inside you, you swear you could taste me…Fucking you so hard they can hear us downstairs over the music…You want that don’t you, Justin?”

“Yes,” Alaska begged. Raja’s hand was pumping so fast and all she wanted was to feel the other queen inside her, taking her for everything she had. “Please, God…just fuck me.”

Raja pressed her smirk to Alaska ear and replied sweetly, “No need to be so formal, just call me Sutan…”

Hearing his name broke any remaining self control Alaska might’ve had and she released her load over Raja’s hand with a muffled cry. The sheer intensity of the orgasm was so overwhelming that her knees threatened to buckle beneath her even as Raja continued to stroke her. As soon as the hand around her face let go, she fell forward to grip the front of her workstation in a feeble attempt to stay upright while the residual shock waves passed through her body. Raja’s free hand was now rubbing soothing circles over her lower back while she pressed a multitude of soft kisses to the side of Alaska’s neck.

As the post-orgasmic haze began setting in, she suddenly felt a disturbing absence of heat and found that Raja had begun moving away from her. A tissue was already in her hand wiping away the remaining traces of what she had just done to Alaska and as soon as it was tossed in the nearby trashcan, Raja was turning to leave the room. Ignoring the ache in her chest at the apparent abandonment, Alaska’s hand shot out to grab Raja’s wrist. Her head was still cloudy but the one thought that came through clearly was how vulnerable she felt right now. She knew her expression was nothing less than desperate and needy but still all she wanted to do was cling to Raja just a little bit longer.

Raja’s painted eyebrows shot up in surprise at the death grip preventing her from leaving but quickly they bunched up in concern when she looked into Alaska’s eyes. The younger queen was trying to speak but clearly she was too tongue-tied to create a coherent sentence. Raja felt like she could see all of Alaska’s fears playing across her face as she tried to figure out exactly how to interpret what had just happened between the two of them. She gave the queen a soft smile and crowded her back against the vanity with a deep kiss. Alaska immediately released her hold on Raja’s wrist in favor of clutching her body as close as possible as their lips worked against one another. Raja’s own hands found their way to Alaska’s face and kept her firmly in place as they depleted the air between them all too quickly. When they finally had to break away in order to breathe, Raja brought her thumb to trace over Alaska’s swollen lips and reassured her, “Don’t worry, we’re not finished…but we do have a show to put on…and you need to finish getting dressed.”

Alaska nodded with an absent, hopeful smile, too relieved to do much else. Raja took a step back and admired how much of mess she had made of the younger queen in such a short amount of time. “Should fix that makeup too…looks terrible,” she teased with a quick wink before walking back to the door. As she opened it, she gave Alaska another smile and said “I’ll touch up mine and go stall for a little bit but show’s gotta start in 15.”

Still regaining her breath, Alaska replied in a short gasp, “I’ll be ready.”

“I know, sweetie.”

This time there was no doubt Raja saw the blush that spread over Alaska’s cheeks and there was nothing she could do to play it off. The best option she seemed to have was to turn around and get to work making herself look presentable again but she knew Raja could see her plain as day in the mirror. She was painfully aware that Raja stood in the entry way watching her for almost a full minute before making her official exit. As soon as she was out of sight Alaska collapsed against her vanity again and tried to wrap her mind around everything that had just happened.

Was Raja actually attracted to her? The idea seemed so far-fetched she couldn’t believe it but maybe…there was hope. She took the time to comfort her after all…and she said they weren’t done yet…But wait…What did that mean exactly? Would it only be a one night stand or did she want more? God, all these questions and more flooded Alaska’s head so much she could barely think straight. She needed to talk to Raja…but not now; they had a performance to put on and then afterwards they would speak. Yeah, that’s what they would do…just sit down and talk about it so there’s absolutely no miscommunication. Perfect.

*********************************************************************************

The show went on as it would have any other night. Though they were down two of the girls, the rest were able to perform and fill the open time slots with their own numbers. Raja performed the role of hostess beautifully and the house was packed wall-to-wall. Not a single entertainer missed their cue though Alaska very nearly choked when Raja introduced her as her “favorite queen.” Falling into the act, she blew a kiss to Raja and began her song but despite the AC directing cold air onto the stage, she immediately felt overheated and giddy. Throughout the rest of the night Alaska was waiting impatiently for a chance to talk to Raja again but the meet and greet went on longer than expected and Alaska knew if she was going to be in any condition to work the next day, she needed to leave as soon as it was over.

Once the final fan had left she bolted to her dressing room and quickly did the bare minimum to de-drag. It was just as well that she had to leave; the club’s strict curfew was just minutes away and the staff was rushing around trying to clean up and help the queens out the door in order to lock up on time. Even Raja had to run 5 minutes ago still in full face and a pair of flats for driving back home. Alaska was so wrapped up in gathering her belongings she almost didn’t notice the lone bottle of wine left sitting on her vanity. Immediately, she knew who it came from but curiosity compelled her to open the folded napkin left beneath the bottle as soon as she noticed it.

“Next time…” it read.

Underneath the note was a smudged imprint of burgundy lips…Raja’s. Alaska was well aware that Raja had been wearing that shade tonight after discovering it on her teeth between sets. She hoped no one else had noticed…or at least not enough to match the color to the true owner. All the same the gesture still brought a smile to her face so wide she had to bite her lip as she left the venue in a mad dash to her car. She kept glancing at it on the seat next to her as she made her way home, seriously having to remind herself every so often how illegal it would be to drink the wine while driving.

By the time she arrived at her house she couldn’t bring herself to open the bottle…not without Raja to share it with. Instead she stuck it in the fridge and fired off a quick text to the queen in question; 'Next time.’

Just before her eyes shut for the final time, a message came through on her phone; a winky face followed by a kissy face. Alaska laughed a little at the pure childishness of the emojis and fell into a contented sleep. The next morning she had meant to call or at least text Raja to try and talk about the previous night but as soon as she was in the studio, she fell into work mode and focused all her energy on making up for the time she missed yesterday. By the end of the day, she fell into bed exhausted both mentally and physically. She felt somewhat guilty when she realized she hadn’t reached out to Raja yet but now that she had time to think, she found she was almost terrified of what Raja’s answer would be. She didn’t want to face the reality that Raja might only interested in a casual one-and-done hookup; even a friends with benefits deal would break her heart. No. She wasn’t going to overreact to anything just yet. She would wait until she could actually talk to Raja in person before reading too far into possibilities that might not even exist yet.

The problem was that with schedules as busy as theirs, they don’t get a chance to see each other as often as they’d actually like. The two queens quickly fell back into texting and calling each other but neither seemed able to broach the subject of what had happened that night. Alaska felt sickly grateful for that. Despite how often she analyzed every detail of what occurred at the show, she felt no need to dive into that particular conversation just yet. Part of her was petrified that no matter what the answer would be, it would inevitably ruin the relationship she had with Raja. Any time it seemed like Raja was even hinting at that night, Alaska would very subtly steer her away onto any other subject that would come to mind. Often times the tension in her stomach would not leave until well after the two had dropped the conversation for the day.

It was nearly three months before the two actually saw each other in person again. Both had been called to the World of Wonder studio to shoot videos for their respective series. Alaska had been there for almost four hours before she noticed Raja was even in the building. She did her best to maintain her composure in front of the camera but by the early afternoon she had become fidgety and restless and welcomed the chance to escape into the alley to smoke with some of the other queens. Though most of the group outside was only smoking cigarettes; Alaska, Laganja, and one or two others were passing a blunt back and forth in order to make it through the rest of the day. It was hardly a surprise when Raja slipped out to join them only five minutes later. She was rather quiet as she positioned herself near Alaska and integrated herself into the smoke circle.

One by one the queens and various members of the WOW staff filed back indoors until only Alaska and Raja remained. The blunt had long since been roached but Raja offered to share a cigarette with a discreet look pleading her stay for a little longer. As the final cameraman resigned himself to having to finish filming for the day, he shut the back alley door behind him with a soft thud. It had scarcely hit the door frame before Raja muttered, “Fucking finally,” and crowded Alaska against the alley wall whilst flicking the butt onto the ground. Alaska’s back had hardly made contact with the bricks before Raja’s lips were over hers working them in way Alaska would dare describe as desperate. She clutched the older queen’s waist and pulled their bodies close together until there was hardly an inch of space between them. Kissing Raja was like second-nature, immediately bringing to mind flashbacks of the last time it had happened. Alaska took the chance this time to fully explore the other queen’s mouth while Raja’s hands took their time exploring her.

Gradually one hand worked its way up Alaska’s chest and wrapped itself around her throat, placing the thumb just below her chin. Raja applied just enough pressure to keep Alaska firmly pressed against the wall behind her but not enough to restrict her breathing. Breaking the connection between their lips, Raja slowly traveled down her neck leaving a dusting of kisses in her wake. She set to work on the pulse point making sure to alternate light nips with rough licks until Alaska was writhing against her. Raja slid her leg between Alaska’s and carefully brushed her free hand over the front of her pencil skirt before forcefully pinning her hip against the building’s exterior. Alaska whined at the subtle display of dominance and ground herself against Raja’s leg as much as she could. Ghosting over the skin with a smirk, Raja warned the younger queen, “Careful Justin, if you get too loud someone’s gonna come out and investigate.”

“Don’t care…” Alaska groaned impatiently. It disturbed her somewhat to discover how much she actually meant it. Under normal circumstances she would avoid PDA of any kind, especially in her place of work, but with Raja she almost wanted to scream about it from the studio’s rooftop.

“Patience…” Raja whispered between delicate kisses down to the exposed clavicle in her low cut top. Slowly she was breaking the other queen apart completely, reveling in how easy it was to destroy her composure and reduce her to a wanton mess. Alaska seemed beside herself with what to do. She knew how likely it was for someone to waltz out the door and find them feeling each other up. Hell, even some random person walking down the street only had to look up the alleyway at the right angle to catch the two queens groping each other like horny teenagers. But even that reality did nothing to curb her desire to let Raja do whatever she wanted to her. She wanted to feel more of the older queen’s skin on hers besides the hand slowly inching its way beneath her skirt. Her self control seemed to be at an all time low when she whimpered out pathetically, “Raja, please.”

“Sutan…” he corrected her with just a hint of annoyance in his tone.

Alaska let out another groan and tried again to get any kind of friction growing. To her exasperation Raja pulled away just out of her reach and hovered her lips millimeters over Alaska’s. The hand around her throat slid up further to wrap around her face firmly and force her to look directly at Raja. “Beg for it…” she whispered as she slipped her hand below the hem of Alaska’s skirt and traced her fingers over her upper thigh.

Alaska’s knees nearly gave out as she whined, “Please…”

The hand around her face tightened just slightly as Raja commanded her, “Say my name…”

She quickly opened her mouth to comply but without warning the back alley door began to open. Alaska swore that in the few seconds it took Raja to move away to a respectable distance, she had never seen an expression of such pure frustrated helplessness as the one Raja wore in that brief moment. Raja didn’t even turn around to look at the intruder that had caught them…or would have caught them if his eyes weren’t glued to the screen of his phone.

Distractedly, the unknown employee asked if the two queens were ready to begin shooting again, all while still scrolling through the social media feed that currently held the majority of his attention. Alaska answered quickly that they’d be back inside in a minute, thanking the heavens the man could not be bothered to notice how much of hot mess she looked at the moment. Figuring he had done his duty, the man slipped back inside the building with a small of noise of affirmation, trusting the other two would follow shortly after. As soon as he was out of sight, Alaska gingerly reached over to grab Raja’s hand. The action startled the still visibly annoyed queen and she stared back at Alaska in shock. The younger queen flinched at the expression and immediately self-doubt began to sink in. There was a nervous tone in her voice as Alaska hurriedly asked, “What are you doing tonight?”

Raja was tempted to supply a smartass remark, something close to “getting reacquainted with my right hand”, but a study of Alaska’s skittish behavior made her think better of it before admitting defeatedly, “We’re filming late…I have some shows out of town for next few weeks and we’re squeezing in as many episodes as we can while I’m still here.”

“What about after that?” Alaska asked with an anxious glance towards the door. She knew they had to get back inside soon or risk another employee coming to find them but she needed to know when she could see Raja again.

“I have a red-eye flight to catch a few hours after we’re set to wrap…”

Desperately, Alaska pressed, “How long?”

“I still need to pack…maybe three hours at the most?”

Alaska’s hand tensed around Raja’s, something the latter did not miss, as she said deliberately, “Willam and I are going to Fubar tonight…Rhea’s hosting.“

Raja smirked as she took the hint and replied smoothly, "I think I can find some time to see my daughter before I leave…I’m sure she’ll appreciate the surprise visit.”

Alaska’s shoulders sunk in relief as she smiled fondly at the older queen. The smirk on Raja’s face became a little wider as she pulled the other queen close to her again earning a small gasp that was quickly concealed by their reconnected lips. Before they could pick up where they had left off, Raja backed away with a quick wink and gracefully floated inside the building in a way only she could manage. Alaska was left breathless once more and shakily followed behind hoping that her jelly legs weren’t as noticeable as she felt they were. No one seemed to care to mention Alaska’s smudged lips, aside from when a miscellaneous crew member handed her a tube of the matching shade for a touch up.

The rest of the filming proceeded without incident and Alaska was released to change and head across the street to Willam’s studio. When she arrived, she was immediately greeted by her close friend despite how he was quite obviously in the middle of shooting his own video. The camera panned over to her for a few seconds as she returned her trademark greeting and took a seat on the couch other visitors had so often used. She quickly became absorbed by her phone and left Willam to continue on with whatever he had been working on. Every so often she would provide some sort of shady or sarcastic remark and left the other queen cracking up. Within a few hours, Willam had completed the filming and dismissed his employees, locking the door after the last had left. Turning his full attention to his guest, he called out showily, “Oooh, Miss AT 5000! You are still a 'Miss’ right?”

Rolling her eyes, Alaska asked with an amused smirk, “What else would I be?”

“Maybe a 'Misses’?” Willam teased with his own knowing smirk.

Alaska’s cheeks flushed at the statement and her stomach felt like it would drop to the floor any second. Had Raja told him something? She knew they were close but she didn’t think Raja would have mentioned anything to anyone yet. Not when they had done so little. Fuck, they haven’t even talked about what happened that first night, much less what they might do later! Alaska tried to play it cool but instantly she began picking at the skin around her nails and asked defensively, “What makes you say that?”

Willam arched his painted brow at Alaska and sauntered up next to her. Grazing a finger over her neck, Willam pointed out, “Looks like someone was marking their territory here just a bit ago…”

Swallowing thickly, Alaska’s eyes darted around for the nearest mirror and practically sprinted to it in order to examine her neck thoroughly. To her embarrassment, her skin was littered with faint traces of lipstick and slowly darkening love bites. Why hadn’t anyone told her earlier?!? “Kinda looks like a war zone…” Willam said bluntly as she watched Alaska’s ever changing facial expressions as she took in the damage.

Turning around sharply, Alaska shouted in a child-like panic, “Willam! It’s not funny!”

“It kinda is, girl,” Willam debated with a laugh. “Who’d’ve thought you of all people would be getting it on at work?”

“It was last night!” Alaska lied quickly, inwardly cringing at how noticeably her voice was cracking.

Willam shot her one of her signature “Really, bitch?” stares and crossed her arms over her chest. “'Laska…you think I don’t about bruises…really?”

Alaska’s eyes turned down in shame as she huddled in on herself. She knew better than to try lying to Willam. He might seem oblivious from time to time but he was quite observant of those he deemed worthy and Alaska knew from plenty of experience that he could read her like a book when he wanted to. “It was a few hours ago,” she admitted softly.

“Thought so…they’re just turning red now,” Willam mused for a moment. Alaska was biting the inside of her lip and ran a soothing hand over her upper arm in an attempt to calm herself down. Perking up, Willam told her, “Alright, bitch, come upstairs. I’ll cover them up for you…if I can hide a beard, I can hide a few hickies.”

Alaska began to make a noise of uncertainty before Willam cut her off with a quick glare. “Watch it…” he warned as he pulled Alaska towards the staircase and muttered just audibly, “…shady bitch.”

A small smile worked it’s way across Alaska’s lips as she allowed herself to be led into Willam’s private makeup station with a surprising amount of care on his part. While he searched through his supplies for the appropriate products, he casually mentioned that he’d been taking more of a hand in editing the videos he had been posting recently. Alaska knew all too well that this was his subtle way of saying that no visual of her would make it into the final version of today’s video and immediately she felt some of the weight lifted from her shoulders. She thanked him with an appreciative smile and rested her hand over his for a brief moment. He returned the gesture with a fond smirk and reminded her, “Anything with World of Wonder is up to you to handle but I don’t think they’ll let anything too obvious slip past their censors…They’ll just filter the fuck out of the wide angles and zoom in for head shots as much as possible…They’ll probably use every editing trick in the book to protect you…”

“My image, you mean…” Alaska mumbled sarcastically.

Willam gave a short laugh as he laid out the products on the nearby table and replied, “I’m not touching that one…”

“Really, Will…thank you…”

“Hey, you’re one of the few people that can actually stand me…gotta do all I can to keep you guys around…We both know I’m not making new friends anytime soon.”

Alaska tried to argue with him on that point, like she always did, but he just brushed it off with a smile and a quick wave of the hand. As he set to work applying the color correcting base, he cautiously asked her, “Can we talk about it?”

Full of uncertainty for multiple reasons, Alaska replied, “Well…it’s kinda…complicated…I’m not really-”

“Sure what’s going on?” Willam interjected.

“Yeah…” she admitted softly. It was hard to say it out loud but she really didn’t know how to describe to herself what was going on with her and Raja, much less to someone else.

“Alright…” Willam stated after a brief pause to move onto concealer. “How’s about a round of '20 questions’ then? I ask a question, you tell me what you can. Sound good?”

With a small sense of relief, Alaska nodded and Willam began the interrogation, “Do I know them?”

“Yes.”

“Longer than you?”

Alaska hesitated as she thought about it, “I think so…at least the same amount of time.”

“Mm…Have I worked with them before?”

“Yes.”

“Have they ever worked for me?”

“K-Kinda…” she replied uncertainly.

“Not like Anthony or Kain?” Willam asked after a moment of thought.

“No.”

“But I have paid them for doing something for me?”

“Yes…” Alaska stated, before muttering, “Well, I’m hoping you actually paid them.”

“Ignoring that,” Willam with a faux tone of annoyance. He stayed silent as he considered the information he’d been given thus far and declared confidently, “So it’s a queen…”

Alaska’s cheeks flushed as she pointed out meekly, “That wasn’t a question…”

Willam shot her another scolding look at the deflection and waited patiently until she confirmed, “…Yeah, it’s a queen…how’d you guess?”

With a smirk of self-assurance, Willam explained, “Cause the only people I’ve known as long you that aren’t on my payroll are queens and a few of the WOW employees. Since I can’t see you with any of the gophers or producers, that just leaves the queens. Plus lipstick is a dead giveaway…unless you’ve been hooking up with Michelle…” He paused as he gave her a mildly concerned look and asked, “It’s not her, right?”

Alaska couldn’t help but to let out a snorting laugh at the thought and reassured him that it was in fact a queen that had left the lipstick on her neck.

“Good…” he chuckled as he concentrated on applying the final layer of makeup to her skin. “Do you like them?”

A light blush returned as her eyes dropped to her lap and she replied with an enamored smile, “A lot.”

“More than me?” Willam taunted with an affectionate smirk.

“Well…” Alaska trailed off as though in thought before giving her friend a teasing wink.

“On second thought, don’t answer that,” Willam dismissed the question swiftly. He finished his work with an exaggerated flourish and proudly announced, “Done! You’re a virgin again!”

Alaska rolled her eyes as she slid off the chair to re-examine her neck. He truly had done a great job hiding all of the red marks. She thanked him again and leant in towards the mirror to see just how close someone would have to be tonight in order to clock the near natural looking makeup. As she studied the careful blending of the foundation to her natural skin tone, Willam continued on with his questioning, “Why do you like them?”

The question caught Alaska off guard and she pondered to herself for a minute before blurting out in an emotional outburst, “She’s just…amazing! Everything she does, she works so hard at! I mean, yeah, she’s talented naturally but she doesn’t just stop there. She’s always working to improve herself…to try new things. Even if they don’t land right away, she goes back and tweaks them until they do…And she’s so selfless. She’s always helping people…helping me…I don’t think I’ve met anyone as kind as her…She’s just…a really incredible person…”

Willam stayed silent as he took in everything she said. Alaska was nervously shifting from one foot to another, slightly embarrassed by her gushing over Raja. There was so much more that she wanted to say, more than she felt words could ever express. If it wasn’t clear to her before, it was now undeniable that her attraction was far deeper than a physical one and not knowing for certain how Raja felt left her in quite a vulnerable state of mind. Quietly, Willam asked, “Are you two dating?”

“No…” Alaska replied with a heavy sigh. She knew that question was coming but there was no dressing up the answer nicely. “I haven’t been seeing anyone but…I’m not sure about her…I haven’t asked.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“Umm…W-Well, I guess you could say almost three months…we haven’t really done much of anything though…”

Willam gave a thoughtful nod before questioning, “Who started it?”

“She did…both times.”

The statement earned a pair of raised eyebrows from Willam, seemingly genuinely shocked that the other unknown queen had been the first to make a move. Quickly, he asked, “Does anyone else know?”

“Other than you, I haven’t talked about it with anyone…I don’t think she has either…”

“Mm…” Willam mused. “Do you want other people to know?”

Alaska ran a hand over her arm as she considered her answer. She hadn’t really considered the effect her relationship with Raja, whatever it may be, might have on her friends and co-workers. Arriving at what she felt was a reasonable middle ground, she stated, “I don’t think I would mind if a few certain people know…but not everyone…at least not yet…”

Willam, who had been up to this point observing her closely, shifted his gaze away and asked reluctantly, “And what do you want from them?”

Incredulously, Alaska replied, “I want to be with her…I want us to make each other laugh, comfort each other, spend time together…just regular relationship things…”

“Do you think it’ll go better than the last time you dated another queen?”

Alaska knew he didn’t mean that as a low blow but still it hurt more than it should have. After recovering from the initial shock of the question, she replied back honestly, “I think it could…”

Clutching his hand into a loose fist, Willam asked softly, “Would I approve of them if I knew who they are?”

Alaska encompassed her hand around his and told him gently, “I think you will…Are you going to ask who it is?”

“No, that’s your business,” he replied with a strained smile. “I’ll find out when the time is right, I guess.”

Alaska returned her own grin and informed him after a quick mental tally, “You still have two questions left…”

Forcing the smile into his trademark smirk, he shot back, “Okay then…Where are we going for dinner and when because I am fucking starving and I am not going drinking on an empty stomach!”


	2. Mistakes and Confrontations

When the queens finally found their way into Fubar, they were immediately offered several rounds of drinks by a number of the other patrons. Both accepted with grateful smiles but Alaska made a note to herself to watch how much she would be drinking that night. The last thing she wanted was for Raja to find her a drunken mess and ruin the last chance she had to spend time with her for the next few weeks. She also knew that she would need to keep a level head in order to prevent herself from acting like a love-sick puppy around her friends. Part of her had a foreboding feeling that Willam would piece together the clues before the night was over and just the thought of that caused her stomach to clench nervously. She didn’t entirely understand why it made her so anxious but deep down she knew that if she wasn’t careful, she could easily end up hurting Willam one way or another.

As the night went on, Alaska made good on the promise to herself to monitor her alcohol consumption but at the same time she was certainly suffering the consequences from it. The actual show had finished over 20 minutes ago but there was still no sign of Raja any where. She was sure if the other queen was in the club she would have heard whispers of it floating around by now but so far the only queens not on the night’s set list were her, Willam, and two other local queens well known for bar-hopping in the area. Her habit of checking her phone for any new messages was steadily becoming more frequent until it reached the point where every half hour became every 3 minutes and her battery life was rapidly dwindling into the single digit range.

She tried telling herself that Raja was the kind of person who would at least give her a heads up if she couldn’t make it but already her mind was diving into all the possibilities for why she hadn’t show up yet. The recurring favorites so far were ‘Filming ran too late and she’s already on her way to the airport’, ‘She got caught up in packing and completely forgot about coming’, and the ever so popular, 'She just doesn’t care.’ The last one was so successful it even had multiple spin offs, each designed to leave Alaska feeling like utter shit in new, fun ways. Well, she never said rational thinking was her strong suit but when the voices became too loud, alcohol was always there to provide a temporary relief. Luckily, she was in just the right place for it.

After checking her phone one last time with no better luck than before, Alaska shoved it back into her pocket and decided to take the plunge and order a few shots to dull the growing ache in her chest. The first two went down easily but as she tried to get the bartender’s attention for a third, a warm body was suddenly pressed against her side and a comforting scent filled the air around her. Her heart fluttered for a brief moment until she realized the person currently invading her space was much too short to be one she was waiting for. Slapping on as sincere of a smile as she could managed, Alaska turned to face her equally buzzed friend.

“Hey, girl!” Willam greeted brightly. “Rhea killed it tonight, huh?”

Doing her best to keep a cheerful voice, Alaska agreed, “Yeah…one the best shows I’ve seen here in awhile.”

Unconvinced, Willam’s expression shifted to a concerned one and he placed a hand on her upper arm as he asked, “Why are you looking so down? Something wrong?”

Alaska faltered as she was torn between full blown denial or breaking down to tell her friend everything. The shots certainly had their intended effect of quieting her thoughts but it also left her tongue feeling a bit too loose. While she did her best to debate the pros and cons of honesty, she saw Willam’s eyes peer into the distance behind her and the grin on his face brightened immensely. Enthusiastically, he signaled for someone to come over and leaned in towards Alaska to exclaim, “You’ll never guess who’s here!”

Almost immediately following the statement, Alaska heard Rhea’s excited voice yelling close behind her, “What’s up, bitches? Look who finally dragged her ass out here to support her daughter!”

“Yes,” came the mocking reply, “the Diamond Crowned Queen has decided to grace this bootleg pageant with her illustrious presence.”

For the second time that night, Alaska felt her heart skip a beat as she heard Raja’s voice and immediately spun around to meet her. Her eagerness was swiftly checked by her unstable feet and she crashed forward into the body nearest her. A familiar pair of arms caught her by the waist and pulled her in much closer than she’d allow most other people to get away with. Her cheeks were burning from the embarrassment of her own clumsiness but even more so when she heard a teasing whisper in her ear, “Falling for me already?”

Thankfully no one else could hear what Raja had said over the pounding of the music but Alaska was very much aware that anyone in the club see her turning into a blushing mess if they cared to look. The incident had also caught Willam’s attention and even with his own alcohol-induced balancing issues, he did his best to help steady her. “You ok, girl?” he asked worriedly as he assisted in getting her standing straight again.

“Yeah,” Alaska replied as she tucked her hair behind her ears, “just a bit klutzy tonight…”

Willam nodded and slowly backed away now that she appeared to be stable on her own again. As he withdrew, his hand brushed against Raja’s, who still made no move to release her hold on Alaska. Neither of them said a word but even Alaska could feel the unspoken tension as their eyes connected and Willam’s concerned expression transformed into a vaguely confused one. Sobriety had it benefits and as soon as Raja deciphered the way Willam was staring at her, she let the arm wrapped around Alaska’s front drop back down to her side. One thing that didn’t escape Alaska’s notice was the hand Raja had left resting on her lower back. The fingers clutched at Alaska’s shirt in a protective manner, almost as if she was daring someone to try and pull Alaska away from her. The rest of her body relaxed into a casual stance as she turned her attention back to Rhea, complimenting her on the new direction she had taken with her makeup tonight.

Rhea basked in the praise she was receiving from her drag mother, a feeling Alaska was all too familiar with. Raja even made an attempt to pay a similar compliment to Willam, who certainly out-shined most of the people in the club with his own flashy outfit that night. Distractedly, he thanked her but continued to make no effort to disguise the puzzled look on his face as he studied the two queens’ body language. Alaska felt like a small bug caught under a magnifying glass, wishing that something would provide an opportunity for her to escape or at least for his attention to be diverted elsewhere. She had to fight against her own instinct to grab Raja’s hand for support so she wouldn’t break her composure. She hardly dared to make direct eye contact with him for the fear that her expression would give everything away…as if he hadn’t figured it out already.

Raja herself looked like the picture of serenity as she held up her conversation with Rhea without even batting an eyelash at Willam’s now accusatory gaze. He made no comment on the subject but his expression left little doubt that he suspected the hidden meaning behind the queens’ brief interaction. Raja did little to dispel those suspicions when her arm snuck its way further around Alaska’s waist and she slipped her fingers just under the hem of the other queen’s shirt. Willam’s eye twitched as he watched Raja trace her fingertips over Alaska’s skin, eliciting a slight shiver at the contact.

The final straw came when Raja shot a small secretive smile towards Willam that seemed say, 'What are you going to do about it?’ Willam’s cheeks flared in indignation and he let out a little huff before grabbing Rhea’s hand and pulling her towards the crowd, citing that some trade had caught his eye. Rhea’s interest was immediately piqued by his announcement and willingly allowed him to usher her away from the other queens. Alaska heard her calling out a short goodbye before disappearing into the sea of bodies currently sprawled across the dance floor.

Just as they were out of sight, Raja turned back to Alaska with a mischievous grin and jerked her head in the direction of the restroom. The implication took a second to register but soon Alaska found herself fervently nodding and being led towards the one small shot at privacy they would have that night. They had scarcely finished checking the room for any other occupants before Raja was shuffling them into the lone handicap stall and skillfully locking the door behind her. She left little opportunity for commentary as she crashed her lips against Alaska’s and guided her back towards the furthest corner. A feeling of Déjà vu swept over Alaska as she found herself pressed firmly against the adjacent wall while Raja’s hands possessively enclosed around her hips. She clung to the front of Raja’s shirt, unwilling to let her slip from her hold again tonight. She was determined to make their time together last for as long as possible.

Air always seemed to become an issue much too quickly and after a few moments, the queens were forced to break apart to catch their breath. Raja refused to let a single second go to waste and whispered an apology between brisk pecks to Alaska’s lips, “Sorry I’m late…shoot went longer than planned…barely packed…shoved some shit in a suitcase…'nd ran over here…” She paused one more time, lips brushing against Alaska’s as she said in a low, guilt-ridden voice, “I’m really sorry, I should’ve watched the time closer.”

As Raja’s eyes flickered down to meet Alaska’s, she thought to herself she’d never see a more sincere pair than the ones she was looking at in that moment. The remorseful look helped soothe any doubts Alaska might have regarding Raja’s feelings towards her. They certainly needed to talk about this later, but for now, Alaska felt it could wait. She cupped Raja’s cheek and murmured against her lips, “Just glad I got to see you…”

Raja leant back in to close the remaining gap for a languid but heartfelt kiss. Any words they might have spoken were instead expressed through their calculated movements against one another. Without warning, Raja’s hands twitched in hesitation and her hold on Alaska’s hips relaxed as she broke away to rest her forehead against the younger queen’s.

“Why’d you stop?” Alaska asked breathlessly.

“Want to make sure-” Raja began softly before cutting herself off to start over. “We don’t have to do anything…” she insisted, “We can just sit outside…talk.”

Alaska’s heart felt close to bursting as she pressed another slow kiss to Raja’s lips and ran her hand through Raja’s hair, tugging gently at her natural locks. Pulling away just enough to speak, she reaffirmed with a hint of a whine in her tone, “Want to…”

“You sure?” Raja asked again with clear uncertainty in her voice. “We’re in a fucking bathroom that was last cleaned…Fuck, I don’t know if I ever saw it clean.”

Alaska couldn’t help but to chuckle at the rather true statement and stated firmly, “Definitely…Besides…” she trailed off with hooded eyes as she ran her free hand down Raja’s stomach to toy with her belt buckle. “Need something to remember while you’re away…”

Raja gave her a seductive smirk as her fingers hooked around Alaska’s empty belt loops and pulled her forward until their bodies were close enough to share a heartbeat. Alaska let out a small gasp as Raja ghosted over her lips and promised, “I think I can help with that.”

Swallowing the small lump in her throat, Alaska challenged the older queen, “So do it.”

Raja’s smirk changed into a devious grin as she attached herself to Alaska’s neck, much in the same manner as she had done that afternoon. The sudden assault to her skin caught Alaska by surprise and before she could stop herself, a choked whimper echoed through the stall. Raja had started to lick a light trail over the spot she knew would make Alaska melt into a wobbly mess but an all too familiar taste caught her attention. Pulling back to investigate, she saw a strip of dark red tinged with just a hint of purple peeking out from beneath the layers of cover up Raja had accidentally removed. Her eyes narrowed as she ran a finger over the exposed mark and questioned, “What’s this?”

Alaska’s cheeks flushed with color as she admitted sheepishly, “Make up…Willam covered them…”

Rolling her eyes, Raja remarked sarcastically, “Out of the goodness of her heart, I bet…”

Alaska opened her mouth to try and explain the situation but the words died on her tongue as the bathroom door was loudly pushed open followed by fast, indistinct voices. Two pairs of heels clicked across the floor in the direction of the sinks causing Alaska to briefly wonder if they had entered the wrong bathroom by mistake. She cast a questioning look to Raja who motioned for her to stay silent while she tried to listen for clues to the identity of the new occupants. The parties speaking were so muffled by the music it was impossible to tell one way or the other as to which sex they could belong to. They seemed stay localized in front of the sink but as to why or how long they might remain, neither Alaska nor Raja had any idea. With few other options, Raja bent down for a cautious peak under the partition but swiftly stood back up with a slightly annoyed look on her face. “Speak of the fucking devil…” she muttered to herself turning to inform Alaska, “Red-bottomed heels.”

Alaska took a quick look herself and immediately recognized the shoes in question. With an airy laugh in her voice, she commented, “Only she would wear those here…”

Raja let out a beaten sigh and brought her hand up to push away the stray locks of hair that had fallen over Alaska’s face. After tucking the last piece behind her ear, she tilted Alaska’s chin up and asked gently, “Want to stop?”

She shook her head and whispered, “Keep going…”

“You mean after…?” Raja trailed off with an accentuating jerk of her head in the direction of the other queens.

“Now,” Alaska persisted, pushing her body up against Raja’s just to make her point.

Raja’s eyes shone with amusement as she bit back a smirk and murmured, “Full of surprises, aren’t you?”

Alaska didn’t have time to supply a witty remark before she was pinned back against the wall with Raja’s hand slipping beneath her shirt. Warm fingers traced unplanned patterns anywhere they could reach until Alaska’s entire body felt like it was being consumed by the fire known as Raja. Lips and teeth grazed over her neck, undoubtedly uncovering the hidden bruises, which may well have been Raja’s intent anyway. She certainly didn’t seem to mind creating new ones for Alaska to find tomorrow. Even knowing they’ll be an absolute bitch to cover later, Alaska couldn’t care less about that so long they came from her. She would wear them with only a small amount of grumbling if Raja asked her to.

Despite the attention she showered Alaska with, Raja didn’t seem to have any interest in having it returned…at least not yet. When Alaska had tugged on her belt, silently asking for permission to take it off, Raja just pushed her hand aside and assured her, “Later.”

Alaska wanted to argue that it wasn’t fair to Raja, but she was struggling to hold back all the humiliating noises that threatened to reveal their presence to the other queens. She was almost to the point where she would just say “Fuck it,” and let herself be heard…but the guilt inside of her kept her from going that far. Raja on the other hand seemed eager to draw out any sound she could. Any time a pleading whimper or soft moan escaped, she would allow her hand to drop a little bit closer to the area Alaska was aching to have her touch again. Her grip on Raja’s waist tightened, urging her to do something more but she was only rewarded when her desperation became audible.

She groaned to herself in exasperation, wishing that the intruders, or at least Willam, would leave the restroom so she wouldn’t have contain herself anymore. Raja genuinely seemed to enjoy her growing frustration, going so far as to pay special attention to Alaska’s weak spots in an effort to tease out anything she could from the younger queen. Both knew this wasn’t nearly enough for either of them, yet neither wanted to be the first to break. Alaska tried again to speed things along but Raja dismissed every attempt she made with enviable ease. Playing the position to her advantage, Raja toyed with the button of Alaska’s jeans as she kissed her way up to her ear, nibbling lightly at the lobe before whispering huskily against the cartilage, “Wanna hear you…Want you to say my name…”

“You want _Willam_ to hear me say your name,” Alaska argued in a choked voice as she fought back another moan.

Alaska felt a smirk pressed against her ear for a split second before Raja coolly replied, “I want everyone to hear…”

Those five words were all it took to finally break Alaska to Raja’s will. Any filter she might have had earlier in the night was gone and all that mattered to her was Raja. Her arms seemed to have a mind of their own as they wrapped around Raja’s shoulders again and her hands wove themselves into her hair as she pulled her down for another deep kiss.

She gave a impatient tug and was pleasantly surprised to have earned a soft moan from the older queen. The noise ought to have been muffled by the close proximity of their lips but true to every bathroom in the known world; the sound seemed to be amplified far louder than what one would think is possible…or justified. Though there was still a noticeable amount of chatter coming from the other end of the room, it was definitely quieter than it had been just a minute ago and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that they had most likely been heard by at least one of the other queens.

Fighting against the overwhelming sense that someone was probably listening to them, Alaska broke the kiss to find Raja smirking down at her in victory. She needed this so bad it almost hurt; she had to feel Raja’s skin on hers again before the night was over or she might just lose it. Swallowing any pride she might have had left, she pouted in defeat, “Please…touch me.”

The smirk faded into a smile as Raja expertly undid the button and drew down the zipper in what felt like just a mere second. “Keep going,” Raja encouraged as she slipped a finger around the waistband of Alaska’s briefs and gradually tugged them lower.

Alaska’s grip tightened on Raja’s hair as she felt the cold air hit her exposed length. She bit her lip for a quick moment as a warm hand wrapped around her and paused. “More,” she begged, vaguely registering that the conversation from the other queens had now stopped entirely. Complying, Raja slowly began pumping her hand as she returned her attention back to Alaska’s neck. Her breath quickened as Raja worked her way from her jugular back to the dark bruise she had left over her pulse point earlier that day. Mimicking her actions from before, Raja gave the area a light lick before setting her lips back to work to ensure this hickie would stand out vibrantly tomorrow. A broken moan of “Sutan” erupted from Alaska’s mouth as she felt Raja’s free hand working its way around her backside to give her ass a slight squeeze. No more than a second passed before a pair of heels were heard storming out of the room, followed shortly after by a more hesitant pair.

“Finally gone,” Raja commented as her hand sped up just enough to elicit another whimper from the other queen.

Alaska nodded absently, barely able to think about anything other than the person touching her. Her mind felt trapped in a pleasure filled haze but it still wasn’t enough to give her what she needed. A chanting cry of “Please, please…” seemed to be the only thing she could bring herself to say.

“'Please’, what?” Raja taunted, slowly swirling her thumb to spread around the bead of pre-cum that had begun dripping out.

Alaska’s knees threatened to give way and her eyes started to water as she gasped, “Please, Sutan…faster.”

Pressing a kiss to the younger queen’s cheek, Raja whispered, “Good boy,” and gave her what she asked for.

As the hand stroking her picked up the pace, Alaska buried her face into Raja’s neck to hide the stray tear that had fallen. The slight wetness against her skin didn’t escape Raja’s notice nor did the effort Alaska made to stop her body from shaking as she inched closer to the edge. Alaska’s hold on her hair was sure to result in a few strands coming loose but it was well worth it to Raja to hear the younger queen crying out her real name. Running her free hand across Alaska’s back, she coaxed her gently, “C'mon, baby, that’s it…You’re getting so close, aren’t you, Justin?”

Alaska was nodding feverishly, her mind struggling to process what Raja had said. She was acutely aware that she was hardly saying anything intelligible at this point, just a bunch of syllables mixed with strangled noises. Thankfully, Raja seemed know her body better than she did at the moment and everything she wanted to ask for was quickly provided. Nails scratching lightly over her back was the final touch needed to push her to the limit. As she came over Raja’s hand, she buried her teeth into Raja’s neck with a muffled cry of her name.

In her post-orgasmic state, she clung to Raja like a lifeline, barely able to catch her breath even after releasing the skin from her mouth. She fell back against the wall, gratefully accepting the toilet paper offered to her as she cleaned herself up. Through the dying panting she apologized for the distinct bite mark she had left, knowing there was very little that could be done to hide it aside from high collars or maybe a necklace if it were bulky enough. “Don’t worry about it…I did a number on your neck anyway,” Raja reassured her as she pressed a small kiss to Alaska’s forehead. “And now I’ve got something to remember you by, too,” she joked.

With a coquettish smile, Alaska traced her finger over the front of Raja’s pants and offered, “Could give you something else to remember…”

Intrigued, Raja smirked down at her disheveled partner and asked, “Oh? Just what’d you have in mind?”

With as much grace as she could manage while her legs felt as stable as half broken sticks; Alaska dropped to her knees and tugged again on Raja’s belt. Finding no resistance this time, she carefully undid the buckle and opened the fly. When she snuck a glance up to ensure it was alright to continue, she found Raja staring down with her eyes slowly glazing over and very light tint of pink on her cheeks. As she lowered herself closer to the bulge and placed several soft kissed down its length, a hand entangled itself in her hair and gave a soft tug. Stopping at the tip, she wrapped her lips around as much of the head as she could and sucked lightly through the thin cloth. A small moan echoed in her throat as the grip on her hair tightened and she could practically hear the smirk in Raja’s voice as she asked breathlessly, “You like that, huh?”

She nodded her head just slightly and grazed her tongue against the slit, earning another firm yank. Before she could stop herself, a muffled groan of “Raja…” escaped past her lips and nearly the same instant, Raja’s grasp loosened in shock.

Alaska’s eyes went wide as soon as she realized what had slipped out and desperately tried to apologize for the lapse but the damage had been done. Raja was already pulling away with her shoulders sunken in defeat as she zipped her pants closed again and re-latched the belt. Alaska scrambled to her feet, reciting every form of an apology that she could think of but Raja cut her off with a hand raised in the air signaling her to stop. She stumbled to the end of her sentence and waited anxiously for Raja to say anything. The look on her face was difficult to describe, her eyes flashed between hurt and frustration but also, and it killed Alaska to admit this, it looked like part of her had given up somewhere. The hand she held up was shaking but her voice came out surprisingly even, “It’s okay, Alaska.”

Hearing Raja call her by her drag name was like a punch in the gut. Her voice caught in her throat as she tried again to speak but nothing would come out that could properly explain how sorry she was. Raja let out a heavy sigh and started to exit the stall. Alaska reached out to grab her hand, anything to keep her from leaving, but it was brushed off and Raja told her blankly, “It’s getting late and I need to catch my plane. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

She didn’t wait for a response before she opened the stall door and rushed from the bathroom. Everything in Alaska wanted to follow after Raja; to stop her before she even left the building to make sure everything was alright between them…but she was frozen to her spot. No matter how much she tried to will her body to move, she just stood there like a statue staring after Raja, feeling more alone than she could ever recall.

Time seemed to escape her as she stared into the empty space. She had no idea how long had waited there after Raja left; maybe it was just a minute, maybe it was ten. The only thing that returned her to some form of reality was the door opening again. Her mind felt like it was on autopilot as she left the stall and walked out of the bathroom in a dazed stupor. She barely registered the hand that caught her upper arm and tried to stop her as she pushed her way through the crowd. Was it Willam? Rhea? Some fan?

It didn’t matter. She didn’t stop for anything. She walked out of the club and down the street until the bright lights and loud music faded behind her. Only then did her senses come back enough for her to remember that she and Willam had drove there together. No part of her was tempted to face the other queen right now, not after what he must have heard in the bathroom. God, Alaska seemed to have a special talent for fucking things up tonight…

Using the last of her battery life, she ordered an Uber and returned back to her horribly vacant house. She sent a quick text to Willam letting him know that she had left the club and placed her phone on the charger. Her eyes stayed glued to the black screen for what felt like an eternity before she picked it back up and fumbled through her contacts to find Raja’s number. Her hands twitched as she fought against the lump in her throat and pressed the call button next to Raja’s name before she had time to chicken out.

Every second that passed killed her hope just a little bit more until the ringtone finally cut out. The message she left on the voicemail begged Raja to call her back, even if it would be in the middle of the night, but Alaska felt there was little chance of that happening. Ending the call, Alaska tried one more avenue to reach Raja and opened a new message to her. She slid her fingers along the touch screen, trying to find the right words to express how sorry she was for that thoughtless moment, but everything sounded wrong to her ears. Nevertheless, she sent the multi-page text anyway.

Struggling not to break down any further, she left her phone on her nightstand and rushed to the kitchen, heading straight to the fridge for the one thing that might help her sleep tonight. Still resting on the bottom shelf, the bottle Raja had given her those few short months ago seemed to be the perfect nightcap for her situation. Some dark part of her mind taunted her that she’d never get the chance to share it with Raja now, so why waste it? It popped opened easily enough and soon Alaska’s lips were replacing the cork and draining the liquid with frightening speed.

Finding her way back to bed with the bottle still in hand, she cast her sight down towards her cell. Her heartbeat quickened as the alert light was flashing to show she had a new message. The tears she hadn’t realized she’d been holding back finally fell as she read Willam’s name at the top of the message. Her vision became too blurry to see anything after that so she threw the phone aside and took another deep swig from the half empty bottle. She wanted to drink the entire thing and just pass out for the rest of the night but past experience was yelling at her that this was not the answer.

Caught between both sides of her conscience, she allowed herself one final sip and pulled the bed sheets over her head in an effort to force herself to fall asleep. The heat beneath the covers was stifling but she knew that if she lifted them either the bottle or the phone would just tempt her into making yet another stupid choice. Her eyes finally started to close after an hour but dreams eluded her. When she awoke the next morning, dehydrated with a hint of a hangover, she pointedly ignored her phone, now blinking again with new alerts. Her main focus was to clean herself up, find something to eat, and nurse her headache before it became any worse.

Once she felt something like her normal self, she braced herself as she unlocked her home screen. Thirty-six texts, one failed FaceTime request, and 4 voicemails…all from Willam. Granted, most of the texts were simple phrases or even just a single word but none of them caught Alaska’s attention…though maybe they should have. Moving on, she found two missed calls, one voicemail, and eight text messages from Rhea. 'Girl, where are you?’, 'Willam’s worried sick.’, and 'Are you alright? Call us back!’ stood out the most. The final two alerts held Alaska’s attention the most; the first was a missed call from Raja, barely even three seconds. It was as if she tried to call but hung up midway through the first ring. As to why she gave up, Alaska could only speculate but her worst fear was that it was just a misdial in an attempt to remove Alaska’s messages from her phone. The last unopened text did little to calm her anxiety: 'we’ll talk next time’. No capitalization, no punctuation. The tone was undeniable though; she was still incredibly upset…but at least she responded.

Having enough, Alaska buried herself back in her bed and lay there until she fell asleep again. Throughout the day she woke up intermittently, usually caused by her phone vibrating with a new message or attempted phone call almost exclusively popping up under Willam’s name. By mid-afternoon, she was sick and tired of seeing his name and turned her phone off for good before falling back into a restless slumber that she hoped would carry her well into the next day. Unfortunately, she was destined to be woken much earlier than she anticipated and of course the first thing that greeted her was Willam’s incredibly irritated face.

**********************************

“Bitch…What does it take for you to answer your goddamn phone?” he spat out as he roughly shook her shoulder.

Not exactly subtle and certainly not what Alaska was expecting to wake up to in her previously empty home. Panic immediately overwhelmed her as she was violently roused from her unconscious state and she scrambled to get as far away as her mattress would allow. After putting some distance between herself and the figure that had rudely awoken her, she recognized Willam’s silhouette against the fading light filtering through her window.

Startled, she gasped out, “Wha-How’d you get in here?”

His eyes narrowed as he stared down at her in mild contempt before slowly holding up a small, dull yellow object in front of her. Dropping the key next to the bottle on her night stand, he informed her scornfully, “Took all of five seconds to find it taped to the door frame.”

“Oh,” she replied lamely, dropping her gaze to the sheets she was now tangled in.

“Yeah, ’ _Oh_ ’,” he repeated sarcastically. Even without looking, Alaska knew an eye roll almost certainly went with that statement. “Now you wanna tell me why you couldn’t be bothered to pick up your fucking phone?” he demanded.

She chanced a quick glance up at Willam but quickly darted her eyes back to her lap as soon as she met his rightfully angry gaze.

“I’m sorry-” she began shamefully only to be cut off by his heated rant.

“Damn right, you’re sorry,” he interrupted furiously, “You should be! What were you thinking? You send one text, one! 'I’m leaving’ and that’s it? You don’t even say where you’re going or if you made it home? Just drop off the fucking grid without another word! I tried calling, tried texting, fucking FaceTimed and you still don’t answer? Not even when Rhea tried!”

Alaska hugged her knees to her chest as he continued to read the Riot Act to her. She felt like a child being reprimanded by her parents again but he was absolutely justified in his tirade. She had been so caught up in her own pity party last night that she ignored one of the few people that always went the extra mile to look out for her. At the very least she should have sent him a response after she saw how many messages he had left her.

But she was selfish…she only thought about how she had felt and she hated that about herself. Even now as he was scolding her, he made it a point not to yell nor to invade her space. He wasn’t even attacking her personally, just the thoughtless choices she had made last night. He was holding back so much of his anger that tears pricked at the corners of his eyes.

Alaska had buried herself so deep in her own self-deprecation that she almost missed what he said next. “Fucking called Raja. Yes, Raja,” he reiterated, seeing Alaska’s head pop up at the name.

“That was a shit load of fun,” he muttered, sarcasm dripping off every word as he sat down on the edge of the bed. His tone became much more subdued as he told this part of the story, “Caught her while she was still on the plane. Would barely speak to me…Snapped when I asked about you…Flight attendant got mouthy in the background 'bout her phone not being on airplane mode. We both bitched her out for a minute…” he added with a slight laugh.

After a short pause Willam took a deep breath and side-eyed Alaska, seemingly debating whether or not to relay the next bit. With a hint of reluctance in his voice, he told her, “She wants me to call her afterwards.”

Alaska stared at him in shock as the inference behind his words slowly sunk in. It almost seemed like a sick joke, like he was lying to make her feel better, but when she searched his face for any sign of dishonesty, she found none. She couldn’t believe that Raja was so worried about her after how much she messed up. Even though she was upset she still wanted to make sure Alaska was alright…

Silently, she crawled over to Willam and wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders. Immediately, he pulled her in closer and allowed her to rest her head in the crook of his neck as she took time to process all that he had said. It felt so unreal… just one sentence gave her hope that maybe she hadn’t fucked everything up beyond repair…maybe she could still make things right…with everyone.

After taking a moment to collect herself, she pulled back and whispered, “Thank you…for telling me that and…I’m really sorry.”

A doleful smile spread over his lips as he told her sadly, “I know…I’m still pissed…but I’ll get over it.”

Both let out a little chuckle at his frankness and fell back onto the mattress, still wrapped in each other’s embrace. With a little maneuvering, they managed reposition themselves to be laying comfortably amongst the strewn bedding and pillows. Alaska moved her arm to drape over Willam’s midsection, trying her best not to shiver as he traced his fingertips lightly over the flexing muscles. Breaking the silence, he asked softly, “Raja, huh?”

“Yeah,” she affirmed, unable to keep the melancholy from penetrating her voice.

“Wow…” He stated with a tinge of amused disbelief. “Can’t say I blame you, just…damn…”

She nodded her head against his chest and waited anxiously for the question she was dreading the most. Deciding to bite the bullet, he asked abruptly, “So what happened?”

Toying with the loose fabric of his shirt, Alaska mumbled a few non-committal noises in a feeble attempt to avoid the topic for as long as possible. Grabbing her hand to stop the nervous fiddling, he told her firmly, “Don’t give me that. If you want me to help…I gotta know.”

Alaska couldn’t deny that a small jolt of warmth spread through her heart at his offer to help, blunt as it was. Still, it felt like it was crossing a line somewhat to be sharing the details without Raja’s knowledge, not to mention her own internalized shame of how she acted that night. With a little more gentle prodding, she relented and told him the majority of what had happened from the very first encounter up to the latest, leaving out of course the more risque details. Coming to the end, she admitted, “I accidentally called her Raja and she got really upset…I fucked up, I know…but I don’t really get why.”

Willam mused softly for a moment before carefully suggesting, “I don’t think the name is really the issue, at least not entirely.”

“Then what is it?” Alaska pressed. She needed to know, not just so she could fix things with Raja but so she could actually understand why it hurt her so much…so she could make sure she’d never do it again.

“Well…” Willam hesitantly started off, “I think it’s more about what the name represents…Like…with Raja…Actually, let’s start with me-”

“Of course,” Alaska said under her breath, ignoring the light tap to her arm after he heard the muttering.

“With me,” he began again, going slow and deliberately as he tried to explain his thought process, “I go by the same name in and out of drag because it makes sense. There’s really not a whole lot of difference between the two…just better hair and cuter outfits but my personality is still pretty much the same…You and Raja are a bit more…polarized. With you, there’s definitely a personality difference. 'Alaska’ is much more of an extrovert than 'Justin’…but you’re just as fine being called 'Alaska’ out of drag as you are in. It’s almost interchangeable for you…Raja used to be like that…To me, she’s kinda like the midpoint between us…or maybe more like the third point in a triangle…Anyway…Like me, there’s a lot of similarities between her drag persona and how she acts is out of it but also some differences, too. Out of drag, she’s more reserved, but in…she’ll cut loose and take more risks, like you. Lately though, she’s been trying to separate those two sides more and I think that after moving from a working relationship with you to a more…'personal’ one, she’s worried that you’re not separating the makeup from the person behind it…like you’re only seeing 'Raja’ and not 'Sutan’. Does that make sense?” he asked with uncertainty, “It came kind of long winded…”

“Yeah…it kinda does,” Alaska trailed off as she tried wrapping her head around Willam’s explanation.

“You really need to talk to her,” he insisted.

Alaska nodded in agreement and asked him to pull her phone from the charger. Once in her hand, she pulled up Raja’s contact information but paused before pressing the call icon. Turning to Willam, she said doubtfully, “…That’s not gonna cut it.”

He gave her a patient smile and shook his head. She debated for a minute on what to do, grateful that Willam trusted that she could find an answer on her own rather than provide her with an easy way out. Deciding to take a huge risk, she navigated to Raja’s Facebook page in the hopes it would have the information she was looking for. Luck was on her side and with a few more clicks and the use of her credit card, she found her solution and set her plan into motion. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she set the phone aside with a relieved but shaky sigh. Willam ran his hand over her back in slow circles until she had calmed down enough to work up a nervous smile. His arms slipped around her shoulders for a loose hug and with a bittersweet grin of his own, told her, “I’ll drive you…now let’s pack.”


	3. Confessions and Compromises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i decided to split out the final chapter i was writing into two parts because 1. it's been awhile since i updated the story anywhere, 2. it's getting long (again), and 3. posting on a consistent basis motivates me to actually work on my stories rather than letting them sit half-finished. i'm hoping to have the final, final chapter up within about two weeks, so long as nothing unexpected comes up...and i will be writing a sequel (probably breaking it out into two parts) as a follow up to this story because it will answer some slightly unresolved questions...and i've also realized i'm shameless shipper of certain threesome so i will be cramming that into the sequel as well - no apologies, i'm not even being subtle about it any more as i'm finishing up this story.

"Go get her!" Willam shouted through the window of his car as Alaska rushed into the terminal to catch her plane in time.

True, she wasn't late just yet but after spending so much time in airports flying from one gig to the next, Alaska knew how unpredictable flight departure times could be. She and Willam had put together a quick carry-on bag and made it out the door in under 30 minutes but the traffic leading to the airport was much heavier than either of them would have expected. Still, her plane wasn't scheduled to leave for nearly another hour so she felt rather safe now that she was standing in line at the counter to check in and receive her boarding pass.

She easily fell back into the well practiced motions of working her way through security and finding the correct departure gate, it was almost second-nature to her at this point. This was such a routine experience that she barely noticed the time passing by until she heard the boarding announcements over the intercom and took her place in the queue to enter the plane's cabin. Even as she took her seat and listened to the mandatory safety instructions, this hardly felt any different from any other trip she had taken. She was almost at ease in the familiar setting but that soon changed once the plane roared to life and began to roll down the runway. As the aircraft ascended it felt like her stomach had been left on the ground and her brain finally seemed to comprehend the gravity of her situation.

She had decided to do all of this on a whim; booking a hotel and flight out to Raja's next show to try and apologize again in person. It was so incredibly risky Alaska couldn't believe she gone through with it with so little planning. It hadn't even been a full 24 hours since the events at Fubar, yet here she was flying across the country just to make up with Raja. Yes, she had shown concern for her by asking Willam to reach out with an update after he had checked on Alaska but by no means did that mean she was any less upset from earlier. If anything Alaska's irrational actions might have pissed her off even more. And now here she was, showing up out of the blue to one of her gigs without even so much as a head's up text? God, she could be so short-sighted...

No.

She wasn't going to think like that. Raja means a lot to her. Its not love, not yet, but maybe it could be and if she waited until Raja's touring was over before fixing this, she knew she would never forgive herself for it. She had to push aside her anxiety if she was going to pursue this relationship. Yes, it was going to be uncomfortable but she knew that Raja was more than worth it...even Willam agreed with her. If he felt that this wasn't something that would be in her best interest, he would not hesitate to tell her, she was certain of that.

To distract herself from any more intrusive thoughts or self-doubt, she decided to focus on what she would say to Raja. Everything she came up with felt lazy and incomplete at first; like there would never be enough words in any language to describe how sorry she was or how much she wanted to build a true relationship with her. But slowly little by little, Alaska pieced together what she felt was almost the perfect apology or at least somewhere to start the dialogue. It had taken more time than she cared to admit just to reach a point where she was satisfied with what she would use to open the conversation but by the time the plane pulled into the airport for a not-so-brief layover, Alaska felt confident she at least had the groundwork laid out for what she felt would be one of the most potentially life-altering conversations of her life.

Booking the flight so last minute meant that she had the very last pick of available tickets. She felt rather lucky that she managed to find even an economy seat for a flight with only one stop before reaching its destination. Granted this wasn't the busiest time for people to be traveling (the first plane had left LAX just a bit after 9 PM) and the layover time reflected that...she had roughly 5 hours to kill, so long as there were no delays with the connecting flight. She took that time to grab a quick bite to eat and consume enough coffee to keep her awake until she was back on the plane.

After the final ascent into the air, Alaska allowed herself to fall asleep for the remaining 4 hours of her flight. Even though the time difference wasn't more than three hours, she wanted to be completely awake for the long night ahead. It was a troubled sleep but that was to be expected between her own fears of what would happen when she faced Raja and the unpredictable tilting and rocking of the plane as it hit periodic patches of turbulence. When the plane finally touched down it was just about noon on the Eastern coast and Alaska was starving with just a hint of jet lag to boot. Thankfully, she only had her carry-on containing her luggage but it still took nearly 45 minutes before she was able to work her way through the airport and leave for the hotel.

The very first thing she did upon entering the building was make her way to their cafe area, ordering yet more coffee and something to fill her stomach for lunch. But as much as she wanted to eat, her stomach was still uneasy and she could only bring herself to finish about half of the meal she ordered. Pushing the plate away with a sigh, she checked in at the front desk and made her way up to her room. Throwing herself onto the mattress, Alaska pulled out her phone to text Willam that she had made it there safely. Within five minutes, he sent a short reply wishing her luck and warning her not to chicken out. Part of her wondered if he ever got around to calling Raja back and if so, would he mention where she was. The answers were almost certainly 'Yes' and 'No' but as curious as she was, it didn't feel quite right to ask him.

Every so often she would replay exactly what she intended to say to Raja, making minor adjustments here and there, to ensure she wouldn't forget it. As the minutes ticked by the butterflies she felt seemed to multiply exponentially. Not even performing before massive audiences was she ever this nervous. She toyed with the idea of trying to reach out to Raja before the show but every time her fingers hovered over her contact information, her mind dove into all of the potentially disastrous outcomes. It would be best just to wait until they were face to face...

When it finally came time to leave for the venue she felt a strange combination of relief and impending dread. As she waited for the Uber driver to pick her up, she was genuinely tempted to cancel the request. The three things that prevented her from doing so were that 1. it would just be plain rude when he was already so close to her location, 2. Willam would never let her hear the end of it if he found out and of course 3. Raja. No further explanation needed on the last one.

By some stroke of luck the club was only a 10 minute ride from the hotel and if she had been inclined to, she probably could have walked there with little effort. But given that she was not all too familiar with this area it was probably safer just to be driven to the show. Even though she hadn't performed in this location more than maybe once or twice, she was almost immediately recognized by the manager who was assisting at the bar that night. They engaged in a bit of small talk as Alaska ordered her drink which ended with Alaska emphatically asking her if it would be possible for other queens not to be told that she was in the audience tonight. With an understanding smile, she assured Alaska she would do her best keep any mention of her from appearing in the dressing room. Gratefully, Alaska thanked her and asked hopefully if it might also be alright for her to speak with Raja after the show.

"Of course!" she replied as she worked on mixing another drink. "There's the meet and greet right after, but if you don't mind waiting till she's done, you're absolutely welcome to go back there."

Shooting her a wide smile, Alaska promised to take her up on the offer and disappeared into the crowd with a slightly more positive outlook. She made sure to stick to the shadows and remain as far out of sight as possible but no less than 8 people spotted her and asked for a picture. Obliging, she posed with each requester and prayed that nothing would alert Raja to the fact that she was here. It was one of the many times she was glad a queen wasn't as active on social media as they could be. Eventually the show began and Alaska became just another face in the crowd. Watching Raja perform was mesmerizing and it reminded her all over again what had attracted her in the first place. Of course Raja was an amazing artist, but it was Sutan that had kept her interested beyond a strictly professional level. It was always the times when it was simply 'Justin and Sutan' that held the fondest memories for her.

And maybe it was just a bit of wishful thinking, but when Alaska starting analyzing every detail of Raja's numbers, her face always seemed to be tinged with the slightest hint of sadness, even during the most upbeat songs when she would plaster the widest smile on her face. The entire show ended up being quite long thanks to the sheer number of artists performing that night but Alaska barely noticed the ache in her feet until the queens exited the stage for the last time and the lights came back on. She found her way back to the bar and ordered another drink as the hostess gave the usual announcements regarding the different meet and greet tiers and of course, plugs for other upcoming shows. Most of the general audience quickly dispersed due to the late hour, aside from those trying to fit in one last drink or hit on someone they had been eyeing throughout the show.

Alaska absently watched the other attendees file out as she sipped her drink, turning around every so often for a picture with the few fans still sober enough to recognize her. She was in a partially dazed state when the manager saddled up next to her over an hour later to escort her backstage. Startled back to reality, Alaska refocused herself on her mission and tried to mentally prepare for anything that might happen in the next few minutes. Coming upon the dressing rooms tucked away in the back of the building, the manager stopped halfway down the passage and motioned to the second door on left. "She's right in there. Should be alone, most other queens have left by now except for some of our regular girls who always use the rooms down at the end."

"Thanks," Alaska replied gratefully as she paused a few feet from the door.

"Not a problem. We're still open for another hour to clean up, so take your time."

With that, she gave Alaska a bright smile and turned heel to run back to the bar. Alaska waited until she was out of sight before daring to face the room. She half-expected to find Raja standing behind her but to her mild relief the only indication that anyone else was left in this part of the building was the light chatter filtering from further down the hall. Shuffling quietly into the open doorway, she paused just outside threshold to watch as Raja absently removed her makeup in front of the large mirror sitting on the counter top. With each pass of the cloth over her face, more of Sutan emerged and even from where Alaska stood, she could see just how tired and listless she was as she went through the de-dragging process in a mechanical, near auto-pilot mode.

While she worked up the courage to make her presence known, Alaska remarked to herself just how similar this situation was to the one that began this whole chain of events. She wondered if Raja had felt this nervous before she had knocked on her door as well. It was hard to imagine anyone as confident as Raja being shaken by anything but there always seemed to be a hidden depth to her personality that Alaska had yet to fully experience.

Forcing herself into action now that Raja's face was entirely makeup-free, she knocked lightly on the door frame and called out with far more confidence than she actually felt, "Sutan?"

The instant the name passed her lips, Raja seemed to come back to life and glanced at the doorway through the mirror. Her face was truly a study at that point. As hard as she tried to stifle it; a smile was determined to spread over her lips while her eyes flashed between conflicting emotions. The most readily identifiable ones were surprise, pain, and to Alaska's relief; joy. Spinning around sharply, she stared at the man in front of her as though she didn't trust what she was seeing and whispered in disbelief, "Alaska?"

With a firm tone, she corrected her, "Justin."

"Justin..." Raja repeated slowly.

"It's next time," she said hopefully, chewing on her bottom lip in apprehension. Raja's eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the statement until she remembered the last thing she texted to Alaska. "Can I...?" she trailed off timidly.

Fixing a neutral expression on her face, Raja straightened her posture and nodded for her to continue. Alaska nervously stepped inside the room and stopped just a few feet in front of Raja. She didn't dare come any closer or to make any assumptions that she would be forgiven tonight. All the same, she hoped that at the very least Raja would see her sincerity and they could at least resume their friendship.

Pushing down a heavy swallow, Alaska started to recall her heartfelt apology but the moment her eyes had locked again with Raja's; she felt her mind go blank and instead of a well-rehearsed, flowery speech, the first thing that actually left her mouth was, "I'm gonna fuck up, probably a lot."

And with that, the verbal diarrhea she had tried so hard to contain came spilling out once more. Raja's eyebrow had arched at the opening statement but even if she wanted to say something, there was no chance Alaska would have heard it over her own outburst. Much like how it had been at Fubar; once started, she found herself unable to control her own rambling until it reached the point where she wanted to rip out her hair in frustration.

She had spent hours preparing for this, how could she have forgotten everything so easily?

She was almost in tears with the thought of idiotic she must have looked as she stumbled over her words until she saw Raja covering her mouth with her hand and shaking with hidden laughter.

"What?" Alaska whined, realizing too late how childish she sounded.

"I'm sorry," Raja said amused as she closed the distance between them, "You just...really _suck_ at this."

"I know!" she lamented with a groan, no longer caring how immature she appeared. Raja gave her a sympathetic smile and ran her hand over Alaska's arm as she went on to explain, "I had it all planned out, I swear! I was practicing it on the plane, at the hotel, even up to when your show started...then once I tried to tell you...it was gone. You just looked at me and I blanked..."

"Hey, it's okay," Raja consoled her, running her fingers through Alaska's hair as she fiddled with the sleeve of her jacket. "Just take a moment and then start with whatever you can remember."

Alaska nodded and took in a deep breath as she relaxed into Raja's touch. She wanted to bury herself in Raja's arms more than anything but it was still much too soon for that. Instead she indulged herself in the feather-light strokes through her messy locks and tried to recall even a single line of her original script. In the end, all that she could remember were random bits and pieces but it was better than nothing, she supposed. Once she found herself able to think clearly again, she looked up into the patient gaze that had been watching her the entire time.

Noticing she was ready to try again, Raja encouraged her with a gentle, "Go on."

Haltingly, Alaska began with, "I...I talked with Willam...He explained some things to me..." Raja's lips twitched at the name but didn't make a comment as Alaska moved forward with her apology.

"At first, I didn't really get why the name pissed you off so much," she confessed, "but I think I do now...I'm gonna mess up, I know I will. I'll slip and call you the wrong name but I'm not gonna stop trying. I _will_ get better, I promise...I _will_ learn. And at Fubar, I'm more than sorry about what happened - "

"Justin, it wasn't really the name that upset me." Raja interrupted with a soft sigh. "We've known each other for a really long time now...We've pretty much always been 'Raja' and 'Alaska' to each other...It's how we met, how we spend a lot of our time together...I know how much you used to idolize me-"

"Still do," Alaska interjected with a shy smile.

Returning her own fond grin, Raja continued on to admit, "I just...I wanted to be sure that you're seeing all sides of me before we get into this...I...I don't want to get more attached just to have you discover that only liked 'Raja'."

Alaska could hardly believe what she had just heard. Never would she have guessed that Raja had that concern; it seemed so foreign to her that Raja could be insecure about anything...but the fact that she felt comfortable enough to expose that vulnerability meant the world to her. Deciding to take a chance, she pressed a fleeting kiss to Raja's lips and assured her, "I do like 'Raja'...but I like 'Sutan' a lot more. I always have. And as much as I love seeing 'Raja' perform...I'd much rather just hang out with 'Sutan' any day."

The tension around Raja's eyes slowly melted away until her gaze was a soft as her smile. Resting her forehead against Alaska's, she suggested cautiously, "I think maybe we should slow things down just a little...get to know each other again...is that alright?"

"Absolutely," Alaska whispered as she returned her own smile. It wasn't exactly how she had pictured the situation being resolved but it works. If Raja wants to take it slow, then she would only move at snail's pace until she heard otherwise.

The hand in her hair removed itself and tilted her chin up as a light kiss was pressed to her lips. She stepped closer, closing what little gap remained between their bodies and clutched Raja's sides like she was the last solid thing left in the world. Raja's tongue was lazily tracing against her lips when the queens were jolted back to reality by the sound of the dressing room door being hurriedly shut.

Alaska pulled away just enough to question quietly, "Wonder who saw that..."

Nervously, Raja asked, "Do you mind?"

Shaking her head with a breathy laugh, Alaska replied, "No, not really."

"Good," Raja whispered with a relieved grin as she captured Alaska's lips for a brief kiss. "Cause when the time comes, I'm telling everyone...just try and stop me."

Alaska rolled her eyes at the definitive statement and jabbed her thumb towards the doorway. "C'mon, let's get out of here before they see something they can never unsee."

"Or hear," Raja teased with a wink as she haphazardly began shoving her make up back into her bag, "From what I remember...you get quite loud."

Alaska let out a mock offended gasp and playfully slapped Raja's arm as she reminded her, "Well, from what _I_ recall; _you_ were the one who wanted me to be that loud."

Raja spun away from the counter with a mischievous grin and pulled Alaska closer by the front of her shirt. Slipping an arm around her waist, she brushed her lips over Alaska's and whispered sweetly, "Maybe I just like hearing your voice."

With a tint of pink in her cheeks, Alaska rolled her eyes again and shot back, "Then buy my albums."

"Already have...got nothing on the real thing though..."

Their lips met again for a mere second before Raja pulled away to continue clearing off her workspace. "God, you're so fucking sappy," Alaska grumbled, not even trying to hide her beaming face.

"Get used to it, sweetie," Raja promised as she zipped her bag closed and hauled it off the countertop.

Grabbing the remaining wardrobe bag sitting on the floor, Alaska asked, "Did you get a hotel room?"

Shaking her head, Raja replied, "No, plan was to head right to the airport and wait for my flight."

"Want to come back to mine? It's walking distance..." Alaska offered with hopeful gaze.

With a smirk, Raja reached over to intertwine her fingers with Alaska's and whispered in her ear, "Lead the way, then."

The pair walked out of the club hand in hand and eventually found their way back to the hotel after deciding to rely on Google Maps for directions rather than Alaska's foggy memory. Once inside the room, the two collapsed on top of the covers and spent their remaining hours just talking about anything that came to mind. If either one cared to admit, there were far more stolen kisses than conversations that night but it was a starting point. Close to the time when Raja would have to leave to make her flight, a text from Willam came through asking how things had gone, specifically; 'You two fuck yet?'

With a smirk and an eye roll, Raja pulled the phone from Alaska's hand and told the younger queen, "Roll up your pant legs."

Curious, she asked why but Raja only gave her a vague reply of, "You'll see." Giving an exaggerated sigh, she did as instructed and waited as Raja did the same with her own outfit. As soon as enough skin was showing, Raja entangled their legs together and pulled up the camera app for Alaska to see her plan in action. She positioned the phone until just their bare legs showed on the screen and snapped a quick picture with a triumphant smirk spread over her lips.

"God, you're awful," Alaska laughed out as Raja sent the slightly blurry photo to both Willam and herself.

"What?" she asked innocently, "I didn't say 'yes'."

Alaska arched a sarcastic eyebrow and replied, "Just implied it."

Running her fingers over Alaska's arm, she asked softly, "Mad?"

"No, but I am telling her you were the one who sent that."

Raja's easygoing smile returned as she shrugged nonchalantly and said, "That's fair. She'll probably figure it out herself anyway...alright, so next question..."

********************************************

An hour later Alaska accompanied Raja to the airport, staying with her as far as security measures would allow anyone not currently holding a ticket. Pausing just before the queue to pass through the metal detectors, the two shared one more kiss and promised to call or text once their respective planes had landed. Remaining in same spot where they parted for nearly 20 minutes, Alaska watched until Raja was lost in the sea of people before heading back to the hotel to try and get some rest before her own flight. As tired as she was, sleep was elusive and she only managed to nap for an hour before giving up to pack the few belongings she had brought with her. The rest of her time was filled with mindless TV shows from anything that seemed remotely interesting on the hotel's limited channel selection.

About halfway through her own navigation of the airport, a text from Raja came through letting her know she had arrived without issues and was on her way to the venue of the day. Smiling to herself, Alaska kept the conversation going until the boarding for her flight was announced on the PA system. Once in her seat, she barely made it through take off before she felt herself falling in and out of a semi-conscious stupor as her lack of a proper night's sleep caught up with her. Even after dozing for two hours, she hardly felt anything like her normal self as the plane began its descent.

Keeping her promise, she called Raja almost immediately after the landing and chatted with her while she painted herself for the night's show. Try as she might, Alaska couldn't hide her yawning for very long and the other queen quickly caught on. "You need to go to bed, Justin," she pressed for the third time.

"Can't. Don't think the driver would appreciate me sleeping in his car," she replied with a drowsy smile as she watched her Uber driver try his best to keep a straight face as though he weren't listening.

"Once you get home," Raja said firmly.

"I will," she promised as she stifled another yawn, "Just like talking to you..."

Alaska could practically hear the eye roll that went with the smile in Raja's voice as she muttered, "And I'm the sappy one..."

"Heard that," Alaska drew out lazily.

"Meant you to," Raja shot back. "I mean it though; soon as you get home, get some sleep. I'll hang up the phone myself if I have to."

"Okay, okay," she relented. "We're pulling up in just a minute, I promise I'll go to bed."

"Good. Call you tomorrow morning?" she asked.

"You better," Alaska mumbled sleepily, "I want a full review of your show...Make me feel like I'm right there with you."

"I can do that..." Raja agreed softly, undoubtedly smiling as she added, "Miss you."

With her own content smile, Alaska murmured into her phone, "Miss you too...night."

"Night."

Sluggishly, Alaska ended the call and shoved her phone back into her pocket just as the car pulled up to her house. Thanking the driver, she grabbed her bag and made her way up to the front door. She barely felt conscious as she tried 3 times to unlock her door before realizing she was using the wrong key.

The first thing she noticed once the door was open was that her house was not as empty as it should have been. Camped out in her living room, she found Willam comfortably lounging on the sofa eating popcorn straight from the bag as he worked on his laptop and left the TV playing softly in the background. Looking up from the screen, he greeted her casually, "Hey."

"Hey, yourself," she returned with an amused smirk. "How come you're still here?"

"Watering your plants?"

Arching an eyebrow in disbelief, she stated, "I don't have any plants..."

"Smoking some plants...?" he offered with a sheepish shrug.

"Now that I believe," she laughed softly before a yawn cut her off. Walking off towards her bedroom, she called out, "'M heading to bed, keep the volume down, okay?"

"Not kicking me out?" he asked in confusion as he scrambled off the couch to follow her. Turning back around for a moment, she shook her head as she yawned into her hand and continued on down the hallway.

Still trailing close behind, Willam asked curiously, "How'd it go?"

A fond smile played across her lips as she dropped her bag just inside the doorway and gave a short recap of the previous night's events. While telling the story, she changed into a pair of sweatpants and crawled beneath the covers of her welcoming bed. Nestling in among the pillows, she found Willam carefully sitting himself on the edge in order to better hear as her voice dropped lower and lower. Moving over to allow him space to lie down, she informed him, "Remote's on the nightstand..."

He turned on the TV as he laid down on top of the sheets beside her but almost immediately he pressed 'mute' as she ended her story. "So we're taking things slow for now..." she mumbled sleepily into his side as her arm wrapped around his waist and yawned out, "Sutan sent that picture by the way."

"Figured," he replied with a light chuckle, stroking his fingertips across her shoulder in an absent manner. He paused for a moment, looking down at the bedspread as he asked quietly, "Did you two...?"

Shaking her head slightly as sleep finally won her over, she whispered, "Mn-mm, not yet...G'night....and thanks."

"No problem..." he replied distantly, "...Night."


	4. Trepidation and Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here's the final chapter of this story. i'm hoping to start working on the sequel next week. it'll probably appear under a new story name...if i can think of one and if you haven't guessed already; it will be centered around a certain threesome i feel i've been cramming down your throats the entire time i've been writing this.

After nearly six weeks of nothing but digital communication, Alaska was more than excited that Raja was finally coming back to LA today. Throughout their separation from one another, they had made sure to check in at least once a day, often times allowing their conversations to span several hours either by text, calling, or FaceTime. Each conversation had left Alaska feeling closer and closer to Raja despite the actual distance between them. Alaska felt particularly grateful that they were in separate states as it allowed her and Raja a chance to ask each other the most pressing questions they had without the temptation of pushing the thoughts aside in favor of physical contact. One of the first topics they discussed was when to call each other by their actual names and when to use their drag names. It was going to take some getting used to, both agreed, but each would do their best to be patient and understanding during the adjustment.

Other topics discussed were fairly normal things; personal pet peeves, likes and dislikes, known schedules for out of town events...Each of them were booked and gigged in various countries but they managed to plan a few dates in the upcoming weeks, the first of which would be today after Alaska had picked up Raja from the airport. Her flight was due to arrive in the late afternoon leaving Alaska to feel decidedly giddy for most of the day as she rushed through her errands to ensure she'd arrive well before Raja's plane touched down.

Aside from the fact that tonight would be their official 'first date', Alaska had another reason to feel nervous; she was also going to broach the one subject they both had been avoiding for the past few weeks. She knew they would have to talk about it sooner or later but part of her felt that perhaps it might still be too soon for her to bring it up. The last thing she wanted to do was push Raja too quickly or lead her to think that she was only interested in sex...

The pros and cons weighed in her mind as she waited in the arrival lounge for Raja's plane to deboard. She was almost bouncing in her seat by the time she saw Raja strolling behind a large crowd carefully searching the area for her. The instant their eyes connected, Raja's face lit up and Alaska pushed her worries aside to greet her partner. She jumped from her seat and ran over to Raja with an uncontrollable grin as she wrapped her arms around her tightly. Mirroring her smile, Raja returned the gesture for a few seconds before Alaska broke away to relieve her of one of her bags. Raja thanked her with a small kiss and laced their fingers together as they left the terminal for Alaska's car.

The entire ride back to Raja's home was filled with light chatter and stolen kisses at nearly every red light. It was only when they had pulled into the driveway and began walking towards the house that Alaska felt her nerves acting up again. She fell mostly silent by the time they reached the front door, supplying vague comments where appropriate as she tried to figure out when the best time would be to bring up such a sensitive subject.

"You can just drop the bag anywhere," Raja told her brightly as she pushed the door open and propped her bag along the wall of the entryway. Alaska gingerly placed the bag she had been carrying beside the other one and nervously followed after Raja as she made her way to the kitchen.

Opening the fridge, she asked Alaska, "Want something to drink? I've got soda, water, wine, or...well, damn...that's pretty much all I've got in here."

Chuckling, Alaska accepted a can of Pepsi as Raja scratched the back of her head sheepishly and explained, "Sorry, kinda forgot I emptied out the fridge right before I left..."

The familiarity of that situation made Alaska's eyes crinkle in amusement as she assured Raja that it was fine. She was quite used to coming back after long tours to find her own fridge lacking in anything that spoiled after a few days.

Leaning against the granite counter top behind her, she toyed with the loose tab as Raja went on to describe their dinner plans for the night. "I was thinking we could go to that new bistro that opened across town...shouldn't be too busy; their opening was like three months ago now. Or did you have somewhere else in mind?"

"No, that sounds good," Alaska said distractedly, flicking her eyes in Raja's direction before swiftly dropping down to her hands as she developed a deep interest in the can she was holding.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Raja asked worriedly, taking a step closer and running her fingers over Alaska's upper arm.

"Yeah!" she blurted out as her head shot up and a light pink bloomed across her cheeks. She hadn't realized her anxiety was that obvious but then again, Raja always seemed to have a talent for noticing when she had something on her mind.

Unconvinced, Raja's brow furrowed as she brushed away a few locks of hair from Alaska's eyes and asked again, "You sure? You seem a little out of it..."

"Positive," Alaska reaffirmed with a skittish smile. "Just...maybe we could...wait like an hour or two before going out?"

"Of course," Raja reassured her, "Not hungry yet?"

Breaking what little eye contact there was, Alaska drew her finger around the top of the can and mumbled vaguely, "That's not...quite it."

Giving a noise of questioning, Raja tilted her chin up and tried to draw Alaska's gaze back to her. "Justin?" she inquired softly, "What's up? Was there something else you wanted to do tonight?...Or talk about?"

Feeling her cheeks turn just a shade darker, Alaska set the Pepsi down on the counter and glanced up towards Raja's concerned stare. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she pressed her body into the older queen's and guided one of Raja's hands down to rest over her hip. Hovering just a few inches away from Raja's lips, she whispered tentatively, "I was thinking...if you want to tonight...I'm ready..."

Raja's eyebrow knit in confusion as she began to ask, "Ready for wha-oh..."

The look of realization that passed over her face was almost comical as she spluttered, "You mean like 'ready' ready...right now?" and blushed as Alaska nodded bashfully and bit her bottom lip. Raja's eyes seemed to bore deep into her soul as she stared down at the younger queen in a contemplative silence. Almost immediately, Alaska's anxiety kicked in at full force and she drew back, hurriedly following up her previous statement with, "No pressure, really! We can wait until-"

She was cut off as Raja cupped her cheek delicately and placed her thumb over her lips to silence her outburst. Leaning in with hooded eyes, Raja lingered just close enough for Alaska to feel the warmth of her breath as she asked huskily, "Do you want to?"

Alaska nodded slowly, speaking softly against the thumb running lazily across her bottom lip, "Only if you do..."

Tightening her grip on Alaska's hip, she breathed out, "How can I say 'no' to you?" and pushed their bodies together until Alaska was trapped between her and the counter top. Leisurely, Raja's hand left her face to slide down her neck and tangle itself loosely in the hair at base of her head.

Alaska's eyes dropped to Raja's lips as she tried to bridge the small gap that remained between them. As soon as they touched, Raja pulled back just a few millimeters out of her reach. Annoyed, Alaska leant in again and received the same result. "Sutan," she whined quietly.

Smirking just slightly, Raja closed the distance herself and allowed Alaska to take control for the time being. Their bodies seemed to melt into one another so completely it was hard to tell where one queen ended and the other began. Alaska's hands slipped down Raja's chest and tugged at the hem of her shirt. Breaking the kiss for a moment, Alaska paused to ask, "Can I?"

Raja gave her a short nod and assisted in pulling the shirt past her arms and over her head. Once free, she tossed it casually to the side and turned back around to be met by Alaska's eager lips again. Their second kiss was far more passionate than the hesitant, testing-the-waters lip lock they had shared only a moment ago but it barely lasted more than a few seconds before Alaska was kissing her way down the other queen's neck and chest as she slowly dropped to her knees. Before she had even made to Raja's midsection, the hand in her hair tightened and stopped her from going any lower. She looked up at Raja with apprehension, worried that she might have moved too fast after all but to her relief the older queen only whispered "Bedroom," before firmly reconnecting their lips and pulling her away from the counter.

Despite either's better judgement, they remained securely attached to one another as Raja clumsily led them backwards towards the master bedroom. Alaska could hear miscellaneous objects being kicked or knocked around by Raja's unsure movements but her enthusiasm was never dampened as she led them almost blindly towards her bed. Thinking they must be close by now, Alaska opened her eyes for a quick peek just in time to see Raja collide with the mattress and fall backwards onto the sheets in an awkward mess. The look of shock on her face was too much and Alaska couldn't help but to snicker at her expression.

Recovering from the unexpected surprise, Raja chuckled as she pulled Alaska closer by her shirt until she was almost sitting in her lap and joked, "Shut up. We'll see how graceful you are when we try this at your place!"

Pressing a quick kiss to the older queen's lips, she teased, "Is that a challenge?"

Smirking, Raja replied smoothly, "Might be," and gently pushed Alaska away from her so she could work on removing her pants.

Her remaining clothing was stripped off and kicked aside in a matter of seconds but to her displeasure Alaska had only managed to remove her own shirt in that same amount of time. She was fiddling with her belt when Raja pulled her entirely into her lap and took over the task herself. "You were taking too long," she taunted as she skillfully unbuckled the belt and set her hands to work on the button and zipper. Once free, Raja flipped their positions and left Alaska laying on her back with a flushed face as she tore away the jeans and underwear.

As soon the final article of clothing was thrown to the floor, she paused her actions in order to rake her eyes over the smaller queen beneath her. For a moment Alaska laid disturbingly still as she tried to catch her breath, but as Raja's gaze traveled lower and lower, she found herself squirming in embarrassment. Raja was so gentle as she traced her fingers over Alaska's body; every light stroke resulted in a shiver as the cool air replaced the heat emanating from Raja's presence. Alaska tried to will her body to relax into the touch but every imperfection she felt she had seemed amplified as she compared herself to the tan and toned body above her. The clenching in her stomach worsened as she felt the angel-soft caress slip over her thighs. Out of habit, she found herself crossing her ankles tightly as soon as Raja's hand had dipped below her knees.

Almost immediately, Raja's head shot back up in concern but Alaska pointedly avoided her look. Her cheeks were burning as she felt Raja turning her face back to hers. "Hey, you're beautiful," she told her with a sincere smile. Running her fingers across Alaska's calf, she added softly, "All of you..."

It didn't feel possible that her face could get any hotter, but as usual Raja proved her wrong. To distract herself from completely losing it over the tender words, she pulled Raja in for another kiss. Her arms slipped around the older queen's shoulders as she felt a soothing hand running over her waist. For several moments they stayed like that; letting their kiss convey everything they couldn't find the proper words to say. When Alaska felt calm enough, she pulled away to ask, "Can we keep going?"

"Anything you want," Raja murmured as she nuzzled into the crook of her neck. She busied herself with leaving fresh love bites to replace the ones that had faded in their time apart. This time she made sure place them lower so as to be easily hidden but nothing was going to stop her from focusing heavily on Alaska's known weak spot. She had purposefully avoided the area until she felt the other queen relax but try as she might, she couldn't stop her lips from curling in satisfaction as Alaska moaned her name once the slightest amount of pressure was applied to the pulse point.

In under a minute, she had Alaska reduced to the writhing mess she loved and Raja felt her hands frantically clutching at her hair, urging her to do more. Without batting an eye, Raja continued to leave her mark on Alaska's skin, grazing her fingertips over Alaska's V-line but always deterring before reaching too far south. Fed up with Raja's teasing, Alaska tried twice to flip their positions, but Raja easily held own against the weak attempts. She hardly spared them any attention to Alaska's ever growing frustration. "C-Come on," she whined quietly. "That's not fair."

"Shh," the older queen hushed her. "It's our first time together...Want to take it nice and slow."

"Want you to go faster," Alaska argued impatiently.

"Want you wearing a gag right now," she shot back as she rolled her eyes at the other queen's restlessness. She almost missed the slight hitch in Alaska's breath but the way she suddenly froze up was much harder to ignore.

Moving back to watch her reaction, she teased the younger queen, "Oh, would you like that too?"

Alaska hesitated for a moment as the color rose to her face again but just noticeably she gave a small nod. Smirking, Raja hovered over her and promised between soft pecks, "Well, that's something we can explore later...but for now, I'm taking my time with you...so stop pouting; you'll get wrinkles."

Alaska let out an offended gasp and tried one final time to gain the upper hand. Effortlessly, Raja held her in place and watched Alaska's struggle in blatant amusement. After a few moments, Alaska gave up with huff and muttered through gritted teeth, "Not...fucking...fair."

Smiling sweetly, Raja informed her, "Get used to it," and pressed her lips over Alaska's. The brief kiss mollified her for the time being but she was still unhappy at being so easily subdued. For the next 5 minutes, Raja proceeded to kiss her way over nearly every inch of Alaska's neck, chest and stomach, purposefully avoiding the area she knew Alaska was desperate to feel her mouth on. Alaska was sure this was Raja's idea of punishment but part of her was confident Raja would have done this anyway.

The subtle torture finally came to end as Raja worked her way back up to Alaska's lips and instructed her to turn over. All too eager, she complied to the demand, propping a pillow beneath her hips as Raja slipped away to retrieve the lube and condoms from inside her nightstand. Even knowing what to expect, Raja felt unprepared for the sight that laid in front of her as she turned around. Alaska had purposefully repositioned herself so as to be fully displayed for the older queen once her attention was back on her. Glancing over her shoulder with a knowing smirk, she gave a showy shake of her hips, welcoming Raja to continue.

Somewhat goaded by Alaska's cockiness, Raja abandoned her initial plan of laying immediate claim to Alaska's body in favor of teasing her just a little bit more. Settling on the bed behind her, Raja ran a lone finger down Alaska's spine before slowly spreading her cheeks apart while she kissed a light trail towards the tight ring of muscle. As hard as she tried to suppress it, Alaska shuddered at the contact and shook her hips again as she urged Raja on, "Sutan, do something already..."

Rolling her eyes, Raja gave her a gentle reminder of "Patience," proceeded to lick light circles around Alaska's hole as she popped open the bottle of lube with her free hand. Sweat was already forming on Alaska's forehead in anticipation of what was to come but her hands gripped the sheets in frustration at continually being denied what she wanted. Finally after what felt like hours, she felt a well lubed finger pressing on her entrance.

"Still doing alright?" Raja asked softly as she pushed the first digit in.

"Yes," she groaned, impatience getting the best of her. "I'd be doing better if you'd hurry the fuck up."

"So feisty tonight," Raja commented as she slipped in a second finger in at a painfully slow pace. "Maybe we should reconsider that ball gag since you want to keep running that mouth of yours."

Gasping at the slow scissoring motion inside of her, Alaska shot back, "Thought you...liked hearing my voice."

"I'd like it even better if it were moaning my name," Raja replied in amusement as she drank up the younger queen's desperation.

Turning her head around as much as possible behind her, Alaska challenged, "Then give me something to moan about."

Raja's trademark smirk returned in full force as she slid in a third finger watching Alaska's toes curl and the fight drain from her eyes as she slowly built up a suitable pace. "How's that?" she mocked.

"Not enough," Alaska muttered as she dropped her head into her arms unwilling to let Raja see her fall apart so easily even as she rocked her hips back against the fingers.

"Soon," Raja assured her, kissing her way up Alaska's back until she just close enough to nip at the shell of her ear. "Don't want to hurt you by going too fast..."

Letting out a sigh of defeat, Alaska resigned herself to having to wait just a little bit longer. "I promise it'll be worth it, sweetie," Raja murmured into her ear.

Alaska felt her cheeks heating up again at the pet name and sharply turned her head towards Raja for a weak glare. "You love it," Raja insisted, trying but not very hard to keep her lips from forming into yet another smirk.

Refraining from making a smart ass comment that would almost certainly backfire on her, Alaska focused instead on the almost-but-not-quite-enough drag of Raja's fingers as they ghosted close to her prostate. It felt like she was going to rip the sheets with the death grip she held on them as she endured the delicious torment Raja inflicted upon her. Precum was beginning to drip onto the pillow below her when Raja finally removed her fingers and rolled the condom down her length. Lining up her hips with Alaska's, she asked, "Ready?"

Hesitating for a second, Alaska replied, "Um...h-hold on..."

"Justin?" Raja asked in concern as she pulled away to give the younger queen some breathing room. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Alaska mumbled in embarrassment as she awkwardly turned herself over. Feeling the pink settling on her cheeks again, she admitted, "I just...kinda wanted to see you."

Raja let out a sigh of relief and pressed a languid kiss to Alaska's lips. "That's all you had to say..." she whispered. "Don't be afraid to tell me what you want."

Alaska nodded and returned the kiss as Raja re-arranged herself for the new position. Placing herself outside Alaska's entrance once more, she asked again if it was alright to begin pushing in. Upon receiving confirmation, she slowly entered Alaska, pausing every so often when she felt her body tense too much. Once fully inside she stopped all movement to study the younger queen. She hadn't even begun moving yet but already Alaska looked wrecked; her eyes were glazing over, hair was sticking to her forehead, her lips were parted just slightly as she tried to hide her panting. In short, she was absolutely beautiful in Raja's eyes.

Allowing time for Alaska to get used to the new feeling, Raja dusted her face and neck with a multitude of kisses, feeling her body relax more and more with each caress. Once the tension had disappeared and Alaska's breathing was under control, she got to work setting a careful, rhythmic pace. Alaska's hands found their way to her face and pulled her in for a sloppy but fiery kiss to match the slowly increasing thrusts. Their hips continually met each other in an ever shortening time span until one particular thrust caused a falter in Alaska's movements and her breath caught in her throat.

Taking the cue, Raja focused her attention on hitting that same angle with every thrust, quickly reducing Alaska to a whimpering, gasping mess. A casual string of swearing slipped from Alaska's lips, peppered every so often with pleading calls of "Sutan." She felt her body going limp as she inched closer and closer to the edge with each brush against her prostate. Raja's nails dug into her hips creating an addicting contrast from the fire than felt like it was slowly consuming her from the inside out. She knew she wasn't going to last much longer. She only hoped Raja was as close as she was when gasped out a broken warning. Immediately following it, she heard a forceful command in her ear for her to touch herself and found herself obeying without another thought.

The friction quickly became too much and she found herself swearing a blue streak wrapped around Sutan's name as she came over her hand and stomach. Raja's own climax followed shortly after, burying herself next to Alaska's ear as she called out her name. If Alaska hadn't already finished, hearing Raja's voice would have certainly done the job for her. As she came down from cloud nine, she found Raja murmuring sweet compliments against the shell of her ear as she carefully withdrew from inside her and removed the condom. Closing her eyes for a moment to take in everything that had happened, she felt Raja's weight settled down beside her and instinctively she curled towards the warm body waiting for her with open arms. Her eyes fluttered open as Raja pushed away her sweated-slicked hair and pressed a light kiss to her forehead.

"Been waiting for this for so long," Raja confessed as she brushed her lips against Alaska's.

"Yeah?" Alaska murmured, lips curling in pleasure. "How long? Since that first show?"

Raja shook her head as her voice dropped to a guilty whisper, "Since you and...you know...the breakup."

Alaska felt her eyes widen in surprised as she tilted her head and asked, "Why didn't you say something back then?"

"You were still so new, so shy...just getting used to the sudden stardom...And you weren't exactly in the best place at that time..." she reminded the younger queen gently.

It pained her to have to agree but Raja was right. Jumping into another relationship so quickly after her breakup would have probably ended in disaster. She did need that time to recover and find stability on her own. "Still," she admitted, "I kinda wish I had known sooner..."

Chuckling lightly, Raja continued on, "Honestly, I thought I was being so obvious about it; always eager to hang out with you, always showing up to your gigs...and you know, always flirting with you on stage..."

"I thought that was just part of the act or you know...alcohol."

"Well," Raja relented, "The drinks did give me a bit of the liquid courage I needed to make a move, cause you sure weren't."

"No," Alaska agreed with a laugh, tracing her fingers absently over Raja's tattoos. "I'm glad you did though...What made you finally do it, besides the wine I mean? What convinced you?"

Smiling down at the smaller queen, she said simply, "Cause you said, 'yes'. When I called you that night looking for a last minute fill-in, you didn't even think about it...You didn't check your schedule, you just agreed without a second thought...Even when I've asked Manila and Rav for the same favor before, they still looked at their calendars first but you...you were ready to drop everything just to help me so I thought maybe...there was something more there...and maybe it'd be worth it to finally take a shot and make a move."

Alaska felt herself flushing as Raja went on to admit sheepishly, "God, I was so nervous that I was misreading everything...it felt so reckless and stupid cause I was just basing everything off of one wild thought-"

"Hey," Alaska interrupted softly, "No more reckless and stupid than flying across the country."

"I'm so glad you did though," Raja told her adamantly, "I was fucking miserable I left it like that...I wanted to call you back after you left that message but I panicked. As much as I hate to say it, thank fucking God for Willam...I got so worried when he said you weren't answering your phone."

Nodding her head, Alaska agreed with the statement and apologized for causing her additional stress. "I'm really glad this all happened though," she confessed. "I really like you."

"I really like you too."

Neither wanted to call it 'love' yet; that would make it too real, too fast but for now 'like' was enough for them.

They shared another kiss, running their hands over each other skin as they pointedly ignored the mess that was still painted over their bodies. Alaska quietly moaned Raja's name into her mouth as she felt her fingertips lightly brushing against the nail marks left over her hip. Pulling away, Raja asked softly, "Can you say it again?"

"What?"

"You know what..." she trailed off with a smile.

Chuckling, Alaska took the hint and whispered close to her lips, "Sutan?"

Her eyes crinkled at the edges as she closed the distance and replied, "I love it when you say my name."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't get too attached to the ending or the chapter name, i might change some things around in the next few days. nothing too drastic though, promise

**Author's Note:**

> sorry about the alliteration, not stopping it though.


End file.
